let's start with the goodness that is my husband.
two weeks ago he suggested we re-implement my sacred, special, oh so treasured weekly Rae Night. it is basically my official night off. my prized chance to fly solo and go do what a girl needs to do. im not going to lie, it gets a little crazy at times. brings out the real freak in me. in fact, i think that's what has him encouraging me to keep up on it. i imagine it is such a turn on for him to envision me cruising down the highway in our 2004 Honda pilot at a mach 45mph, windows down, hair whipping throughout as christina aguilara classics serenade the scenery and i make my way to the nearest dairy queen drive thru. and don't even get me started on the fabric store. oh the stories i could tell. the aisles i peruse with such reckless abandon. oh my gosh oh my gosh....there was this one time i came home with a new lamp shade from world market....
i know, i know, INSANE, right?
but i don't want to go on and on and make your life seem boring,
so i'll stop.
let's just say mr. T-Money has discovered the real recipe to rollin' in the hay. i march back through that garage door, stuff my TJ Maxx bag properly into the hidden side closet, rebutton the top of my jeans and begin my signature sexy strut into the bedroom and i'll tell you what... it is GOING DOWN ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
i chose for this, my first official Wednesday Rae's night...to go to the local starbucks and sit. it's one part i need to not spend money, two parts i have no friends (yet?), and one part STARBUCKS IS FULL OF AWESOMELY COOL PEOPLE. i love to look around and imagine what everyone else is doing on their laptops...guy in the corner is working on his doctoral dissertation, 19 year old hipster enterupener is skyping in to manage his charitable wind farm in africa which has been constructed entirely from recycled shoes, college kids crammed in the corner are starting the next facebook phenomenon, woman in black suit is reviewing quarterly reports and getting ready to fire people because dammit she is a woman in a spectacular fitted black suit and CAN. i suppose it all makes skimming through radar online and finding a super healthy level of self righteous vindication watching kim kardashian's pregnancy unfold seem a bit inadequate. and yet, here i am.
am i the only one finding it just a teensy tinsy bit fantastically comical that her lips are about to combust?
ok, bad karma. done. good luck to her. Wild night out, solo, friendless, and projecting fake narratives on starbucks customers aside, i can't allow this bar to sink too low.
oh yes, and on that note, now would be a good time to tell you this post will be going nowhere.
i've been meaning to post recipes, hire a decent web designer, and clean this online joint up. but then i began my first project of deleting unnecessary photos from my hard drive. 17 hours in, I've come to the stark realization that this will be the mountain i'll die on. you'll have to go on without me.
basically, if my computer were an episode of Hoarders, i would be that four hundred pound woman the crew didn't even realize was living in the house until they discovered her buried under 17 bags of cat litter and JC Penny catalogs from the eighties, eating Ritz cheese sandwich crackers.
it's that bad. i didn't intend for it to become this way. the files are bursting. my storage is all used up. my computer clunks and lets out big moans when i log on. it takes a full 19 minutes to crop a single photo at this point. i'm all outta tricks. i've either got to dump the entire computer or clean it up. someone is going to have to train me in how to ignore all the guilt when i choose to just delete the 127th photo of emerson smiling on the rug in the living room. because i will argue! i will! i will tell you, no NO NOOOO. Don't you see? Take a good look at the other 126 photos of emerson smiling on the rug in the living room. LOOK. VERY. CLOSELY. Because in THIS, the 127th PHOTO, her eyelashes are catching the angle of light from the NORTH side of the room. see?!! and isn't that just the darn cutest emerson smiling on the rug in the living room with her eyelashes catching the light from the north side of the room photo YOU'VE EVER SEEN?!!! good. i'm glad we agree: this one CANNOT BE DELETED.
On to photo numero 128 of emerson smiling on the rug in the living room...now i can explain this one too...just hear me out...
i'll leave you this tremendous case in point...found in a file from two years ago:
as you see, we clearly documented this most important of days. the day the girls played with books in the living room....
first off all...rule number one is i NEVER delete a photo in which I am getting eye contact. London is looking at the camera.
lily wore those leggings for a straight two years. isn't that worth remembering?!
and this?! have you ever seen such a cute little backish bendish half holding a book pose?
this is ORIGINAL, ONE OF A KIND stuff.
and most important! look at her hair! she chopped her bangs one day!
you know, their arms are only that exact length once...
awww, just look at em....
so please, if you have suggestions on what should be deleted. let me know.
actually don't. i'm not ready to hear it.
this is wild rae,