Saturday, March 24, 2007

Perfect Moment Series - #2

To say that this is only the third perfect moment would be completely ridiculous. I wanted to begin documenting these moments in my life about two months after Lily was born, and already, I am failing at what I’ve barely begun!
My reason behind writing these moments down stems from my complete lack of memories regarding my two youngest siblings when they were babies. You see, I know that it was such a wonderful and fun experience watching them grow up, but if I had to tell you a specific memory, my current brain’s memory capacity is about the equivalent of an 82 year old retiree with althizmers (sp?) ( which hopefully a cure will be discovered within the next few years of my life….possibly even sooner if I join the next marathon for the cause. My hopes are suddenly seeming dim). I could come up with one or two specific favorite memories, and even then they may be laced with bits of pure fantasy.

And I hate hate hate that! It is terrible to know that you once enjoyed some extremely memorable moments, and you can’t remember them! There is a home video of my youngest sister when she is two. She is standing on a chair with her top on, and a little pink vest with no bottoms, just a diaper. She proudly stands on the chair with her little knobby knees that are dirty from her continuous adventures in the wild wilderness (i.e. backyard) and sings a song she made up, “Ca yon candy Ca yon candy ice cweam” (Translated: “Cotton Candy Cotton Candy Ice cream” her favorite from TCBY, the yogurt shop I worked at in high school). While watching it years later, it occurred to me I would never have remembered that adorable half gibberish song and her big blue eyes as she sang it if it hadn’t been captured on video. Without that, It’s almost as if it didn’t happen, washed away with the continues cycle of life as your brain dumps what it can no longer hold in conscious memory into some other hidden area nobody can seem to find unless under the supervision of a hypnotist. And heaven knows, there are some memories in that hole none of us would wish to retrieve.
Seeing that I can not afford a personal hypnotist, I am writing these moments down so years from now I can hopefully read them with a smile and say, “Ah ha! I totally remember that.” I will see it in my mind as clearly as the video of my baby sister.

Okay…onto something worth actually writing about: my perfect moments. Life with Lily has been nothing one huge accumulation of beautiful, perfect moments. There is no possible way that I would be able to remember them all from the time they begin to the time I get the opportunity to sit down and write about them. So Lily dear, if you are reading this someday, just know Mom did the best she could. I had to wait until you were in bed or in the arms of Daddy, because the moment I get on the computer and the clicking of the keys begin, you hear and come running to type with Mommy too. Seeing how you once completely reversed our computer screen so that everything was reading upside down, I can no longer allow such mommy/lily activities.

Here is a memory that is freshest in my mind, it’s a good thing I’m finally writing it down because it is probably due to expire in 2 days:

One night, Tyler was out of town on business for the week, so Auntie Sarah was over staying with me due to my paranoia, sparked from being alone in a dark house and watching too many episodes of CSI. We were laying down to get Lily to sleep in our big bed. Lily miraculously (and this is truly miraculous given her curious and insatiable appetite to move around and constantly see EVERYTHING) was still as she lay in bed with us. She didn’t try to squirm or climb over Mom or Auntie Sarah. In fact, you couldn’t even see the normal plotting in the sparkle of her brilliantly young little eyes to escape. Instead she looked at each of us with a smile, and began giving out kisses to each of us, one at a time while “being soft” and stroking our faces (we have had to teach her to “be soft” and lightly stroke our cheeks as she has discovered her passion for hitting you hard across the face for the neat slapping sound and pleasurable release of 12 month old aggression).
As she would do this, she would coo “ahhhh”. Sarah and I, completely delighted and loving every second of Lily’s attention, looked at each other and would giggle. Lily noticed this, and began giggling, or fake giggling on purpose. She would lean her head back and look and the ceiling and make a “ah ha ha” “ah ha ha” noise. Witnessing this, we began laughing harder at her wonderful attempt to join the grown ups, and she would again do it…”ah ha ha” “ah ha ha”. It wasn’t just the laugh that was so darling, it was her amazing little profile. Those round cheeks, and that mouth that would open to reveal one tooth and rubbery pink gums looked good enough to eat! Her smile and pleasure at entertaining her fans, even at bed time, made for a moment both Sarah and I were positively dying over.
It was so fun to see it in Sarah’s eyes too, that complete surrender to how astonishing and enthralling this little person can be. You can literally feel that you fell even deeper in love with her right then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any better.

1 comment:

MOM said...

Even though the thought of forgetting memories of our "wee little ones" and the joy they brought us can be sad - new memories make up the present with more "perfect moments" like when a mother like myself gets to watch a wonderful daughter like you be such a fabulous mom...the circle of life is the best...I get a second chance to relive the magic with Lily Lu.