Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bragging

Okay, I lied. I'm revisiting the blogging world earlier than anticipated. But I just couldn't help sharing and bragging about this last weekend....Tyler's Graduation!!!!!

Despite what you all may assume, he did not graduate the Paul Mitchell school of incredibly handsome male hotties looking dashing in black. You're looking at a bona fide Civil Engineer. Woo hoo!! Even sexier. If you look reaaaally reaaallly close you can see the tossed panties of all the other civil engineer groupies I had to fend off.



Not only good looks but brains too! I am even more gushingly proud to announce that his G.P.A. was 3.6 this semester...not bad for taking eighteen credits while never working LESS than 30 hours a week and arriving home to cheerfully rub his pregnant wife's feet. How did I get so lucky? I'll let you in on a little secret: (see below)
It's the calves. It's all about the calves. No man can resist blindingly white calves streaked with a hint of cellulite. (And no, I'm not the cute one sitting next to the fat calf girl with the pudgy pregnant arms)

Afterwards Nonna (Tyler's Mom) hosted an awesome graduation party. Above you see the entertainment arrive. Auntie Sarah kept her until after the ceremony.

The gorgeous little karaoke starlet entertained the crowd with a soulful rendition of " BBAAAAAAAA AAAAAA BA BAAAAAAAAAA." We were so lucky to have booked her early. She doesn't normally make such appearances for the average middle class graduation party.

A starlet who displayed her mother's Hollywood-esque sense of poise and control when sampling the cake. "HHHmmmm, this looks nice. Too many calories. I'll just poke it."

"Okay, maybe one bite."

"There. Deliciously satisfying. Wait, is anyone looking?!! Quick! Flash a charming smile and nobody will notice....."

"This.........mmmmm."

"Or this.........mmmmm.""MMMMMMMMMM."

"Cake? Oh no thank you, I already had one bite and I'm great."

Good girl Lily. You'll soon have enough calf cellulite to attract any Civil Engineering Stallion you desire.

I love you Tyler!!! I love you Lily! I am too lucky!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Hiatus

I have not written for a while, nor do I intend to for the next couple weeks.

Please, wipe your tears, my friends, as I shall return.

Right now, I am wallowing too deep in the depths of pregnancy despair to focus on much else. Good news though!: After a trip to the emergency room Tuesday night due to incessant vomiting and nausea that caused dehydration....I have medication!!! Drugs! Glorious, Dr. Approved Drugs!!!! You know it is serious when you look forward to a trip to the ER with the same anticipation as Disneyland.
I was diagnosed with Hypermesis Gravidadum, or whatever, which roughly translates to "Vehicle transport to the outer edge of sanity and physical exhaustion resulting in a serious lack of desire to ever have children, or sex, again." I'm beginning to look at my husband the same way I would look at a delicious meal laden with Anthrax.

Just kidding, I am not defeated...yet. I am happily in a state of recovery.

Hopefully, just a few more weeks and my mental sanity will return and I will be able to talk about something other than poor poor, whiney me.

I did however appear as a guest columnist for my Dad's weekly column on Mother's Day in our newspaper, my first real writing job....thanks Dad!!! I bet you can't guess what the topic is, I'm extremely unpredictable. I had approximately one hour to write it, as my mother didn't ask me until shortly before the deadline. Please forgive my amateur writing skills. You can check it out at http://www.sparkstribune.net/columns-irahansen.shtml.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Lily Lily Lu, How I Luv U


I ate ELEVEN Jack in the Box 2 for $.99 tacos in one day. I haven't washed my hair in two days. I believe this is the fifth day IN A ROW that I have plunked myself out of bed nauseously and threw on the nearest sweats.

Ahhhhh, pregnancy.


I vomit, my face breaks out, I am incredibly irrational, grumpy, emotional, irritable, hideous, bloated, and uncomfortable ( I didn't even use the synonym option for those words). I think all day of something I can possibly stomach eating and come up with one thing that will work for the day. Hence the reason I had eleven Jack in the Box tacos throughout the day, for a total of 3 TIMES THROUGH THE SAME DRIVE-THRU. Before any thing enters my mouth I have no choice but to contemplate its return through the same mode of entry later on.


Why is it that I seem to be a perpetual magnet for the stories of women who simply "looved being pregnant"? "Oh really," I think, "Isn't that just peaches and cream, I'm so haaaapppy for you. I'm thrilled that the 87 mile long list of complaints I just mumbled falls on empathetic and utterly ignorant ears. We should really chat again about our pregnancies sometime. "

Just kidding. Bitter at times, but totally kidding.

I tell myself that I need to be grateful for this. And while at times I have difficulties in listening to my own self lectures, I do realize that I have a wonderful baby on the way, I have the ability to get pregnant. I know women that would give their right arm to throw up and cry for 9 months straight to experience the miracle. Hence, the guilt. Guilt over feeling pity for myself during this time.

This is not a pity post though, you may be surprised.
Enough of me!!!
I have found it is so much easier if you focus on the result instead of the process (although the very very beginning of the process....was pretty fun...wink! wink! Luv ya Tyler Stallion...uh, I mean Tyler dear).



Below is the proof of my husband & I's pudding making skills.



Just look at that face. Those little lips. Those scheming little eyes...

As Mommy says, "Lily, No No touch the candles." So obedient.


Just look at that naked little sense of self. (Note: our grass is not normally like this)



Have you ever seen such a cute nudie solo marching band running through the pool? I didn't think so.

Take note of the wild sense of adventure and confidence...trecking to the wild wilderness of the very back yard.

Ahhhh! Those cheeks! Love...bite...squeeze.... those cheeks!
Best of all, she loves and comforts her Mama and even fake "puky's" right on beside me.
Lily Lu, I don't deserve you. Even at my sickest, saddest, most irritable moments, you are a gift beyond a pregnant whiner's wildest expectations. Thank you for helping Mommy constantly remember how lucky she is.