Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Lily Language

Lily says, "Appy Eat-er!" (Happy Easter!)

The "Eat-er Bunneeee" came, we went to "chuch" , we brought our baby "Lundeen", we said our "pais- Amen!" (prayers- Amen!)

We thought about "jeese" (Jesus). And we're thankful for Him. "Tant youu" (thank you!)

It was a great "Eat-er". Best one yet. Hope you had a great "Eat-er" too.


Rae, Ty, and our two "bunnies"

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


She has a five week old infant.
She has been married for a little over a year.
She was just barely diagnosed.
Too quickly, this past week she passed from this earthly existence.

Why? A question I mull over in my mind late at night as I wipe tears over a sweet person who had every reason to continue here...on I am so sad. I didn't know her well on a personal level, but have known her family all my life. She had an unmistakable sweetness about her. Her family is one of the kindest and most charitable bunch of people I know. And now they are sad, and missing her. I literally hurt and ache for them.

It seems trivial and self serving to compose a stupid little blog about such enormous an issue, and I'm really not attempting to make any good sense of it. It just feels like a sort of betrayal to write about anything else than what has largely been on my mind and heart lately. If this happened to my sister or loved one, I would be insulted that the world continues to turn, that people continue to go about their day without taking notice that mine has just crumbled to pieces.

Mostly, I feel angry right now. In a moment of rationale, logic, and faith I have to say I truly believe and see that everything has its purpose. But in a moment of reflection on what this means to her family, to the new infant she will not hold in this physical mortality, to her new and very young husband, I see nothing but piercing grief. As C.S. Lewis stated, "It's hard to see clearly when your eyes are blurred with tears."

So for the moment I'm going to cry. Cry for them and their pain. Cry for her. Cry for me. I'm just going to cry. The answers will come later, I do believe that...even through the tears.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Lundy Lu

My sweetie pie London,

While growing up and having me as your mother, you will quickly learn of my unprecedented and unrivaled ability to relate any topic or discussion to food. Sometimes I believe only your taste-buds can properly convey what your mind or words cannot. When I try to describe what I think of you as a baby, the words come out something like this:

"OOhhhy gooohy gooohy, I luv you I luv you I luv you, I wanna eatchoo eatchoo eatchoo."

It just doesn't get the point across effectively. And while I still think there is no possible way I will EVER be able to express my love for you and Ms. Lily, I think food does a better job than the above mentioned blabbering. So here we go:

If you were a tub of ice cream, you would be the most delightfully delicious tub of Ben and Jerry's half baked ice cream with extra cookie dough bits, atop a ooey gooey moist and chocolaty brownie- one that when consumed has no added caloric consequence or upset tummy inducing properties.

Any better? I didn't think so. Even that description fails to do you justice. But, if it is any consolation, when I was pregnant with you- after a long day of chasing your sister and waddling around- I would often sit- too often- at the end of the day and enjoy such an above mentioned sundae. Taking a deep breath as I would take the first bite I could close my eyes and enjoy a little peace and quiet with my treat. It felt like heaven. And you, once again my darling girl, bring a feeling of such peace and such heaven that multiplies the above mentioned ice cream fest ten thousand fold- ten trillion fold- ten infinity fold!

I love you so much. I love your Daddy so much. I love your sister Lily so much. You three combine to make one combination that no tub of Ben and Jerry's could even hope to are the perfect combination of happiness swirled and mushed together in the comfy white sheets of our bed on a Saturday morning. A scrumptious blend of Lily language "OOnn, twwooo, freeee, wak up Lundeeeen!! I laaaa youuuuuu" ("1, 2, 3, wake up London! I love you!), of Daddy hugs and messy morning hair, and London bright blue-eyed smiles...

You are the desserts of my life.