Sunday, April 13, 2008

Falling off the ladder, from all this fecal matter....

A poem.

Can somebody help me?
Pray, do tell.
For at times I feel surrounded by poo poo
In the deepest poo well

On my way out the door, as I flitter and fly
Feeling the breeze as I pass my way by
"Ah hah!" I do think
Complimenting myself with a wink
I have this motherhood thing pinned- pinned to a pat
Preparation & promptness- any doubters- take that!
Two diaper bags I pull
Lily's sippy cup full
We shall be on our way
So merrily- so gay!

When all of the sudden, from my baby's sweet seat
I hear a rumble, a tumble, a gooshy "pshllleeeetttt."
Oh no! Not now! Not in your best dress!
Once again, my blithering arrogance called to the test
And not only the dress, but the little back and thighs too
I quiver to witness, my baby once again COVERED in poo
Covered in poo, from her tip to her toes
Soaking her outfit, infiltrating my nose
Don't panic, don't scream
Just get the butt cream
Wipe her, wash that
We'll be done in a flash
Off we'll go
With a hi-diddy diddy doe

Out the door we once again head
When a stench detected, filled me with dread
What is this? Not now! My sweet!????
I see big brown streaks, wiped over my glistening new wall
I bend to examine, and screaming did call...
"Lily!!! Is this poo? From whence did it come?"
She looked quite sheepish, pointing to her bum
"Lily Lu, I've told you once, I've told you twice!
We don't touch our poo poo- it just isn't nice!
Let's go clean you up, I'll try not to scream
Instead- of my single poo-free days I will dream
Finally, out we pulled from our little home
45 minutes late, the doctor's office will groan

Oh well, who cares- any mother can relate
But not the construction manager, whose 90-day walkthru we scheduled to date
He had arrived to fix any problems we had
After purchasing our new house, to see him we were glad
I showed him down the hallway, to the individual cracked tile
When suddenly I realized- the poo streaks I had forgotten all this while!
He glanced at the wall and and noticed, for sure,
Lily-Lu helped by pointing it out, once more

"Poo Poo! Poo Poo!" She said pointing her finger
"Oh really?" replied the male manager, pausing to linger
"Oh silly Lily, you are mistaken," I lied with a few nervous giggles
"That is just chocolate, honey, now go watch the Wiggles!"

As the dashing Prince Tyler later arrives through the door
He finds his dearest Rachel, fallen to the floor
Darling London had once again left us a gift
Even in size THREE diapers, her load proved difficult to lift
"I can't take it! No more! I've had enough poo for today!
You handle this mess-I'm leaving- you must stay!"

Off RAchel went, to soak in a tub
Prince Tyler washed up all of little Lundy's chub
Rachel emerged a happier woman
And preceded to cheerfully get dinner a cookin'
Her two poop free girls began to play with their Dad
And Rachel said to herself, "Ahhh, I guess it wasn't all THAT bad."


MOM said...

Hysterical...This poem reads much like Twas the Night Before Christmas...I'm glad to see that your study abroad in England left you with such literary talent!
Love MOM

Joan Koplin said...

Encore! Encore!
Too fun, Rae...and you absolutely made me feel like a million bucks today. Thanks for the compliment.
Ps...Sara cracks me up...she too will one day carry the mark of the Mother.

jenniferoharra said...

Oh My Gosh - That was hilarious!! Way too funny. I love how you take such a bad experience and are able to laugh about it!

Ali said...

cinderaely, cinderaely, night and day...cinderaely, change the diapers, clean the poo walls, they've always got you runnin! Our song is no match for your cute poem! You are such a good mommy! Love, Brooke and Ali