Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Tough as nails

"I didn't like the pregnancy blog very much until you got to the reasons you hated being pregnant. Then I thought it was kind of funny. Can you send me something that focuses more on things that displease you with a humorous delivery and less on things that people might actually care about?"
- spamtarded@gmail.com

This was the only feedback I received on a blog burb I sent to a craigslist ad stating, "Humorous writers needed" ( it also mentioned something about wanting "Women's" sorts of issues...hence the reason I sent a blurb about pregnancy).

Humiliation factor #1 : I can't believe I actually sent something to someone in the hopes of them thinking I would qualify as a "humorous" writer. Just because my Mom laughs at anything I say DOES NOT MEAN I AM FUNNY. I know this.

Humiliation factor #2 : I can't believe someone with the email address "spamtarded" could actually qualify as someone who meets the humor criteria deciding how "unfunny" I am. Seriously! Completely dejected, I couldn't even respond with, "Well you smell like poo!" to make myself feel better. We're in cyberspace. Nobody smells like poo in cyberspace.

Humiliation factor #3: I consider myself thick-skinned, tough as nails. Really...in all truthfulness I apparently have an ego inflatability factor of a giant hot air balloon, one that's been popped by spamtarded.

I am preparing a query letter to send to publishers. I want to write for some sort of parenting style outlet. I know I don't have the technical/grammatical know-how to attempt this sort of venture...but I figure someone out there would be willing to pay me $25 to jazz up an article on paper towels or potty training.

Wish me luck. I already feel like quitting.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello again Rae,

You are so right about someone having the name "spamtarded" -- this person must have been totally RE-tarded to think of and actually use that name!! What were they thinking..... oh... they must not have been! :)

When I ran across your blog about 5 months ago I was so impressed that I ended up printing all your prior posts (not realizing that it would take half a ream of paper) so I could read them when I had a minute here and there. I could not put them down and ended up reading the entire "book" in one day then gave them to my older teen daughter and she loved them too! Like I said prior -- I think you are an awsome example of a young, strong, dedicated, passionate wife and mother. Sometimes our daughters need to have these examples and words of wisdom from someone other than their own moms!

As for the humor you put in your blogs --- your site has become a sort of refuge for me when I need a break from the stresses of the day. I only wish you had more frequent entries! Although my kids are older reading your entries bring back wonderful memories and laughs as well as stirring up my excitement for opportunities of fun and laughter with future grandchildren that my children will someday bless me with!

It is evident by your writings that you are not afraid to "tell it as it really is" instead of the typical "Christmas Letter" writings that attempt to persuade the reader into thinking their life and family is PERFECT! Ha! Those writers are obviously confused on the defination of fiction and non-fiction.

Know that you most definately have more than enough talent as a mother and writer to blow the socks off the publishers of magazines such as "Parenting", "Parents" "Baby", etc. Erin Breen watch out your competition has arrived!!

Keep up the great parenting and please keep sharing! :)

MOM said...

O.K. spamtarded - because you are not aquainted how I single handedly took on the "cow punks" of Fallon when they got out of line with my daughter at Taco Bell after a cheer competition consider yourself warned! Oh, this is cyberspace, but I will hunt you down and give you all the adjectives in my arsenal accompanied by several exclamation points!!! Spam man you wouldn't know funny if it came up and "knock knock whose there?" on you... And by the way, you smell like poo.

Ty said...

You should never quit. Not only are you an excellent writer, you are excellent at every thing you do. You are the best mother, wife, best friend I could ever ask for. I know that you would be the perfect writer for all of those magazines.

jenniferoharra said...

I agree with everyone - you are a great writer and very funny! Your posts are always hilarious and very clever. Don't listen to that idiot-if anyone can do-you can!

Joan Koplin said...

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel...every worthwhile writer has received unwarranted criticism. But we all know that you have a voice worth listening to...and so my dear you must keep writing.

Joan Koplin said...

ps...how much do I love the thought of us both gorging ourselves sick while crying and missing our husbands! We are one in the same on so many levels, Rae. I miss you.

Amy said...

In 1934, a reader at Warner Brothers made the following report about a script he'd reviewd: "I don't think you'd be missing anything to pass this up. I read quite a lot of it, and it's a draggy tale, unrelieved by either comedy or practical colorful incident...I think we should leave this alone." Fourteen years later, in 1948, John Huston's screenplay for Treasure of Sierra Madre won the Oscar for Best Screenplay. -Joel Saltzman

Okay 14 years is a long time but I have lots of other similarly inspiring stories from this book I'm reading. I'll call you.

Amy said...

Stick to it in spite of hell and other people. Patience and endurance. - Katherine Anne Porter

Plus, you're not a real writer if you don't have lots of rejection letters to make the critics feel like idiots later.

Amy said...

Ooooo Harry Potter!! JK Rowling was totally rejected by publishers and now she's a bagazillionaire. I think she's richer than Oprah.