Sunday, July 20, 2008

Like a Kid on Christmas Eve...


How would like an all inclusive, one week stay at a luxurious mountain retreat?

We provide:
Spacious, open-aired DIRT for your sleep and relaxation!
All you can eat meals of dehydrated beef stew and plain peanut butter tortillas!
Complimentary single change of underwear!
Limitless mosquito bites!

But you have to act NOW!! Book today and you can join our spa/exercise course absolutely FREE! Exercise will include walking in the +98 degree weather with a fifty pound pack over 50 miles! And you got that ONE change of underwear!!!

If I didn't know any better I'd check that vacation bus for schwazticas before boarding. I'd also advise any possible customers to forgo the "We'll also mail your belongings, and your hair, back to you shortly after arrival at your destination!" option.

And yet, crazy as it may seem, tons of our finest boys and men...including my husband, anxiously await this "Boy Scout High Adventure" hike with the anticipation of the after Christmas clearance sales at Nordstroms.

My cute husband keeps meandering up and down our hallways with his "backpack" strapped to his back, just to check one more time that it still fits:

ME : "Tyler, geez louise, why are you still wearing that backpack? You can't seriously be this excited to go hiking... it's like one notch above running on a treadmill."

TYLER: "Rae, you have to be prepared. You could, like, die if you aren't prepared."

ME: "Spoken in true Boy Scout Motto fashion, dear. Well said. However, you are hiking AROUND Lake Tahoe, so I'm gonna go out on a crazy limb and suggest that if starvation or being lost threatens your survival, you can just head down towards the beach and I'll be glad to share some of the girls' Cheetos and bagel sandwiches with you."

Later, I catch him grinning...seriously GRINNING... by himself... as he stares at the map tracing out the hike. Aye yei yei. Men.


Cameron said...

Thanks for the invite to share your picnic food with us if we get tired of roughing it.

Joan Koplin said...

I love how you said, "strangely blissful captivity" when describing our life as mothers.
I read this post to Brandon and he was like, "My respect for Tyler just went through the roof!"

Casey and Brittny said...

Rachel (formerly) Hansen?? Formalities first: this is Brittny (formerly) Adlish! I stumbled upon your blog via Jacob's blog (your brother), and I can't remember how I got to Jacob's blog...being a mom has made me a certified idiot.

I just wanted to say hi and tell you how amusing you are. No, really - I even ventured a "guffaw" or two as I lapped up the veritable flood of humor you provided me on this afternoon. While I love the random tidbits I can squeeze out of my mother about friends past, I sincerely enjoy running into them through venues heretofore unknown. Sorry this comment is way too long. I applaud you for getting to this point. I would have forgotten to keep reading a long time ago. So...hey!

Amy said...

With ya on this. EVERYONE in Seattle hikes/bikes/runs/walks/kayaks so it is easy to feel super lazy all the time because there is proof all around that people are more motivated than me. I hiked up 2 steep hills to a friend's car today and that's as much hiking as I'll do this year.