Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Jump Jump Jump

I am basking in the glory of two minutes of ZERO interruptions. I owe a huge shout out to my husband for this one. He's currently not home, but the result of him spending a decent quantity of time researching "Johnny Jumpers" online (the little bouncy things babies love to jump in...) was the purchase of a bona-fide bouncer to end all bouncers. Because no child of Tyler Haack's is going to have a namby pamby, multi-colored rainbow saucer monstrosity sitting in the living room to learn the delicate and much needed skill of jumping up and down repetitiously in the exact same location for sturdy amounts of time. No, no, no. Not for skills of this magnitude. Nothing but a contraption that the most skilled rock climber would envy will do:
We're talking real bungy (is that really a word?) cords.
Straps & velcro capable of holding a two hundred pound man.
A contraption that any guest to our home would raise an eyebrow to...possibly confusing it for a indecent, torturous device hanging in the doorjam - something CPS might want to hear about.

Lily is jumping in it right now. Yes, my 'almost' three year old. It's alright Lily, it's only London and I that are witnessing you stuffing into and joyously bouncing in this silly invention that we rigged high enough inside the door jam to accommodate a toddler that certainly does not belong in it. You are jumping happily. London is napping contentedly. I am typing peacefully. Ahhhhh.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Cozy day

I lOvE mOMmY.

sHe LoVeS Me.

wE LoVe dADdY, YeS SiR-ee

hE loVes Us
AnD sO YoU SeE...

wE ArE a HaPpY FaMilY.
-LDS Children's Primary hymn

(Fabulous art courtesy of Lily and Mommy. Cuz on a cloudy day, when you're fighting colds...nothin' beats the classic paper plates & noodles art that now adorns 82% of American houses with children under 7. Lily's purple butterfly earrings are a particularly favorite detail. There was a day I would have sworn NO such kitsch would be splashed all over my refrigerator. nOt AnYmOrE.)

*Lily also insisted we wrap the hanging masterpiece in this lovely pink bag, and give it to Daddy as soon as he gets home for a "Duwr-bay" (birthday) present. We're sure he'll love it.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


LiLy, lately you've been requesting "lellow lurpees" (Yellow Slurpees) during our errands about town. "Finding Nemo" terrifies you, and you'll only watch it in the comforting presence of Daddy - who so graciously skips the scenes when "Cowal" gets eaten by the shark, when Nemo gets taken by the Scuba Diver, when Nemo can't find his Daddy, and when Nemo goes through that little initiation phase in the fish tank. Basically, the entire movie, except the last three minutes of the blissful reunion with his Daddy. Can't say I blame you, I'd be really sad to think of being apart from your Daddy too.

LoNdOn, you've mastered the world's cutest smile lately - it's a combination of half crinkle birdie face/half chubby bubby wubby wanna eat you up cute. You've been flashing it like a Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader to all passersbys - one woman in particular at Home Depot almost ate you yesterday. Frankly, I'm surprised you are still here as I've been known to have to stuff the craving to devour you whole with something else edible - and Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream pies just don't seem to cut it.

liLy, you are such a good girl. So good it melts my heart. At first I thought I had a somewhat defiant child - say, in the 20 month or so phase - but in the past couple of months a new little maturity has surfaced. When I found you yesterday in the kitchen, pouring a glass of milk (milk you retrieved for yourself from the top shelf of our refrigerator (?))- sitting on top of the counter - and as it was literally mopping and slopping out of the overfilled cup onto the floor, you so kindly repeated the phrase "Shorry Mom, Shorry Mom, Shorry Mom. Jus one meenit" ("Sorry, Mom - just one minute.") while continuing to pour.

lOnDoN, you are fat. And so darn cute. You make my day spectacularly bright with your speed crawl. Especially when it is in the most pitifully desperate attempt to catch up to Lily and I walking down the hall. You've also learned to play silly with Ms. Lily. You two love to tickle each other, so much that you giggle hysterically while both of you push and shove back and forth - until Lily gets too aggressive, you start crying, and interventions sounding like, "Lily stop! London is just a baby, she didn't know that was pinching you!" occur.

LilY and lOnDoN, these are just a few observations from today. It is pathetically inadequate to try and sum up daily existence with you. It passes so quickly and fails to allow the time-stopping credit life with you deserves. Just know, I enjoy it. Thoroughly.


Friday, September 5, 2008

The man's panties are in a ruffle....

I love good comments. And thoughts. Well said, A. Man.

I like your comments so much in fact, I'll dedicate this next post to them...and invite anyone else (I would LOVE anyone else) to join in on the conversation!!!....

Background...this is a response to my "Girls, let's think about this" (Click here) post. Or scroll down and read to get up to speed , then please, join in!!!


Ok Ladies! Here is the male's perspective... we'll do it step by step even...

The intro is already seeping with latent man-haterism. There is an obvious rage and it must be directed somewhere! Why not at the white, American male?! Sure! Why don't we set quotas on magazine covers and an equal portion of men and women related topics?

We next proceed into rallying the she-troops to stand up for themselves and indirectly, hate men! After all, it's the men who don't think we're good enough. It's the men who refuse to accept us. It's the men who force us into starvation and cheat on us if we are overweight...

There also appears to be a hang-up on the word 'feminine'. Weak? Inadequate? It is not man who suggests that, in fact I, along with my knuckle-dragging kin, would associate 'tender' or 'compassionate' instead.

From here, there is a proud declaration of womanhood. I like it. I even like womans. I like their strength and capacities.

However, the grand feminine finale is where the latent man-haterism really surfaces... after all, as a woman, no matter the man and the noble self sacrifice of the oppressed wife--bearing children, cooking meals, dutifully offering sex--the husband, just like ALL husbands eventually do, will move on to greener pastures.

But no, this is about woman pride, NOT about bashing men--directly or indirectly... VIVA LA FEME!

Mr. A Man,

What you sensed in my opening paragraph as "Male-haterism" was/is nothing more than "woman-acting pathetic-haterism". A simple suggestion that women stop spending so much time attempting to dominate and control an aspect of male attention that is difficult to monopolize. There will always be someone prettier, there will always be something more attractive, there will always be something with tighter buns. Point being, if the man is gonna wander...he's gonna wander. If you're the one who tends towards monogamy and self appreciation, try not to pick the "wandering type." (The only difficulty here lies in the fact that men don't come with the label attached : "50% Poleyster/25% cheater/25% good father" or "75%hard worker/25%sweet as pie"). You have to have a good eye, and even the best clearance items can unconsciously be left on the rack.
I want women to stop spending so much time reading about how to make yourself more lovable and grab a book/article worth reading. We are the classic enablers of what is most harmful to ourselves - we are the mistresses of married men, we are the inappropriate pictures they may peruse, we are the ones willing to sell our birthright for a mess of pottage. I'm in no way blaming the male sex for this.

And nobody, especially me, is advocating hating men. Need I remind you, I have combined my life - eternally - to one of the supposed "hated" sex. In fact, I'm his biggest fan.
Let me put it this way, I'm completely hopeful and confident in your sex's abilities and potential. Frustrated and disappointed in the way they often play out (think Elliot Spitzer, Henry VIII, Peter Cook, Bill Clinton, and yes - our oh-so sweet and supportive companion of his terminally ill wife, John Edwards : all timelessly classic examples of a powerful male's ability to throw away everything, whether it be the honor of the Oval office's reputation, the religion of a nation, or a marriage of 25+ years, for a piece of...candy).

Consider my confidence and simultaneous disappointment a compliment. If I thought you were nothing better than a dog, I wouldn't be so aggravated when you behave like an animal.

So please, don't take my "Vive La Feme" approach as a war cry, but rather a solid cheer of school pride.

Thanks for the comment. Hope I didn't offend.