Friday, September 5, 2008

The man's panties are in a ruffle....

I love good comments. And thoughts. Well said, A. Man.

I like your comments so much in fact, I'll dedicate this next post to them...and invite anyone else (I would LOVE anyone else) to join in on the conversation!!!....

Background...this is a response to my "Girls, let's think about this" (Click here) post. Or scroll down and read to get up to speed , then please, join in!!!


Ok Ladies! Here is the male's perspective... we'll do it step by step even...

The intro is already seeping with latent man-haterism. There is an obvious rage and it must be directed somewhere! Why not at the white, American male?! Sure! Why don't we set quotas on magazine covers and an equal portion of men and women related topics?

We next proceed into rallying the she-troops to stand up for themselves and indirectly, hate men! After all, it's the men who don't think we're good enough. It's the men who refuse to accept us. It's the men who force us into starvation and cheat on us if we are overweight...

There also appears to be a hang-up on the word 'feminine'. Weak? Inadequate? It is not man who suggests that, in fact I, along with my knuckle-dragging kin, would associate 'tender' or 'compassionate' instead.

From here, there is a proud declaration of womanhood. I like it. I even like womans. I like their strength and capacities.

However, the grand feminine finale is where the latent man-haterism really surfaces... after all, as a woman, no matter the man and the noble self sacrifice of the oppressed wife--bearing children, cooking meals, dutifully offering sex--the husband, just like ALL husbands eventually do, will move on to greener pastures.

But no, this is about woman pride, NOT about bashing men--directly or indirectly... VIVA LA FEME!

Mr. A Man,

What you sensed in my opening paragraph as "Male-haterism" was/is nothing more than "woman-acting pathetic-haterism". A simple suggestion that women stop spending so much time attempting to dominate and control an aspect of male attention that is difficult to monopolize. There will always be someone prettier, there will always be something more attractive, there will always be something with tighter buns. Point being, if the man is gonna wander...he's gonna wander. If you're the one who tends towards monogamy and self appreciation, try not to pick the "wandering type." (The only difficulty here lies in the fact that men don't come with the label attached : "50% Poleyster/25% cheater/25% good father" or "75%hard worker/25%sweet as pie"). You have to have a good eye, and even the best clearance items can unconsciously be left on the rack.
I want women to stop spending so much time reading about how to make yourself more lovable and grab a book/article worth reading. We are the classic enablers of what is most harmful to ourselves - we are the mistresses of married men, we are the inappropriate pictures they may peruse, we are the ones willing to sell our birthright for a mess of pottage. I'm in no way blaming the male sex for this.

And nobody, especially me, is advocating hating men. Need I remind you, I have combined my life - eternally - to one of the supposed "hated" sex. In fact, I'm his biggest fan.
Let me put it this way, I'm completely hopeful and confident in your sex's abilities and potential. Frustrated and disappointed in the way they often play out (think Elliot Spitzer, Henry VIII, Peter Cook, Bill Clinton, and yes - our oh-so sweet and supportive companion of his terminally ill wife, John Edwards : all timelessly classic examples of a powerful male's ability to throw away everything, whether it be the honor of the Oval office's reputation, the religion of a nation, or a marriage of 25+ years, for a piece of...candy).

Consider my confidence and simultaneous disappointment a compliment. If I thought you were nothing better than a dog, I wouldn't be so aggravated when you behave like an animal.

So please, don't take my "Vive La Feme" approach as a war cry, but rather a solid cheer of school pride.

Thanks for the comment. Hope I didn't offend.


Amy said...

Who is A. Man?? I'm guessing one of those super smart Hansen men.

Daron and Jamee said...

Quote from A.Man, thinking that this is what women think:

"We next proceed into rallying the she-troops to stand up for themselves and indirectly, hate men! After all, it's the men who don't think we're good enough. It's the men who refuse to accept us. It's the men who force us into starvation and cheat on us if we are overweight..."

Don't agree even a little bit. Yes, I think that this generation of women has been fed crap about the male sex from media and yes, even some of our mothers or grandmothers or female friends, but that is all it is , CRAP!

We have to see men as our other half. Without them we could not receive our glory in the end. Without them we can not be made perfect someday.

If we woman want to be treated as the Queens we are, then we need to treat our men as the Kings they are. It goes both ways.

It is not always the mans fault. I think any problem in a relationship can come back to the man and woman needing to give a little.

Lets just say...

A man has just eaten a several course meal consisting of the best his favorite steak and potatoes meal and his all time favorite desserts. Than someone offers to take him to a cheap restaurant for a bite to eat on his way home. The man will say: "No thanks. I am totally full and satisfied."

Same goes at home. If he has a wife who is doing what she can to help him stay "satisfied" (taking care of herself, taking care of the home and children, and making sure her man has been fed, supported, and yes, even some lovin',)than he is not going to look else where. He is full. And some piece of candy isn't going to look appetizing. A real man who has this real woman is not going to throw his life away for the cheap candy, he knows that he is going to get all he needs from his wife at home, and that she wants to give him all he needs and loves him in return.
Lets stop with our caddy, nit picking problems with the opposite sex and realize that we need each other, misunderstanding differences and all!!

Ha! Just call me Rae and I bet we could could talk for hours...

Joan said...

I like that Jamee friend of yours. She said it all too well. I will simply end my comment with, "Yes, Jamee. I concur."

Anonymous said...

I have a question

Did Mrs. Edwards fail to keep her man "satisfied"? Did her cancer eat too much of his meal? Is that why he went out for a cheap bite?

Devils advocate

Anonymous said...

Who cares what led him to go for a cheap bite. He did it and he was wrong to do that. I think what Jamee was saying was that we each need to do our part in respecting the other sex and making sure our spouses are satisfied. If the man decides to cheat, than he is still the one at fault.
Lets just take inventory of our own lives and make sure we are doing what we can to simply be nice and wonderful to our partner. Nuf said.

Albert Reel Man said...

ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! Before I rain on all ya'll's parade, let's clarify that men don't wear "panties" and our underwear are never in a "ruffle". True, we can sport the occasional 'melvin' or 'wedgie' or 'Freshmen Welcome', but ruffles men don't do.

And pardon my late reply. I wanted to reply sooner, but that would contradict my duty to characteristically masculine procrastination. So now, late at night in old high school shorts, face unshaven, surrounded by PB&Honey crumbs with ACDC blasting, I shall reply.

What I can't understand between all your comments is the 'victimism' sadly holding you back. Notice how throughout, the women are the VICTIMS of all male misbehaviors (and I wouldn't dare try to disown our notorious misbehavior--but isn't that what makes us so ironically adorable?! When women complain about the lack of 'real men', who envisions the 9-5er driving a Dodge Stratus? Deep down, there is an attraction to the utter raw nature men can/should embody. And yes ladies, I will agree that the brute aspects of masculinity need to be controlled (think fire), and when they go awry, disaster lurks. But when that fine balance is maintained, and you girls are frustrated that your man tracks mud into the house or stays out late playing softball (our closest approximation to the good ole days of hunting and gathering adventurism)... but then again you have to agree that he looks so tough in his muddy boots or softball uniform... that is when the feminine and masculine compliment each other to perfection. When attraction is greatest... when the baby-makin' action is stupendous! So don't give me a cry of victimhood! Truly, the married homemaker abandoned by a pathetic excuse for a man is a victim, a real and tragic victim, but being a woman doesn't make you a victim. Couldn't I make a convincing case that being married to Hillary Clinton made Bill a victim?! You see, it's not ALWAYS the man's fault! Let's remember that it takes two to tango--yes, Elliot Spitzer, Henry VIII, Peter Cook (who the hell?), Bill Clinton (as I said, who wouldn't tip over other trash cans with Hillary as a wife?) and even John Edwards, all did the unspeakable with........ WOMEN! Yes, you did admit it earlier, but there seems to be some strange disconnect and switch to victimhoodismness with these examples. What really bewilders me, and I think is far worse that the typical male promiscuity, is the feminine desire for attention and acceptance by men--married or not. The tango partners in question, all present with similar 'needs' to be fulfilled by men. Why the neediness?! Why the strange and twisted desire to provoke the more instinctually governed men?!

So, in the end, I suppose it is us men, made according to God's design(or so some say), so weak and 'unlabeled' (it would be nice to have forehead labels: "dork", "nice guy", "stud", "great pick for your intermural football team", etc.), that are the true VICTIMS!

Anonymous said...

This has to be Patrick or Danny. I would also throw Ira in there but I know typing and computers aren't really a strong suit for him....

MOM said...

Busted - Albert Reel Man. No one knows a son better than a mother! Daniel the english graduate and skeptic your opinions come through loud and clear in your writings. (The peanut butter and honey was a give away as well!)