Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Checks and balances

Make a check. Find my balance.

London was wearing a D-string the other day (diaper, size in the size that newborn infants belong in, not a chubby ten month old that tips the 95% percentile for weight : that rumps requires size 4). We ran out of diapers and I hadn't managed to get to the store yet. So, for the morning her buns tightly swallowed the only diaper I could find wedged in the back corner of the closet. We made an immediate run to Costco for diapers and arrived home in time for lunch and naps. By dinner time, I picked up London to find her little jeans soaked through. You see, her D-string had leaked...yes, because I HADN'T EVER CHANGED HER OUT OF IT.

Check: You are a bad mother.
Balance: I fed her organic green beans for dinner. And kissed her. A lot.

A few months ago, I volunteered to grab my little sisters from school for my Mom. While driving home through my neighborhood, little sister sassy attitudes and dirty looks seemed to infiltrate the vehicle. Such is the life with pre-teen sisters. I was in the middle of a mini-lecture while driving parallel to little boys who were on the side-walk, making their way home from school. Suddenly, one of the boys bolted in front of the car to cross the street to his house. Sccreech, I slammed my brakes, and in the heated anger of the moment that was one part little sisters driving me crazy/ one part I almost killed a child because he didn't bother to 'look both ways' before crossing,
I muttered : "Stupid little boy!" under my breath (well, technically slightly above my little sisters could attest). These words had barely escaped my polluted tongue when I witnessed the reason for the boy running: an effort to quickly meet up with his handicapped toddler brother happily limping out the front door of their home excitedly to see his older brother. This is a true story.

Check: You are a bad person.
Balance: There is no balance. You are a bad person. And shamefully and stubbornly hanging your head without an immediate apology to the girls for witnessing such a pathetically hypocritical debacle in the middle of your interrupted lecture regarding "showing some respect" doesn't help the situation either.

October 1st is my best friend's birthday. It really helps to remember that before October 2nd.

Check: You are a bad friend.
Balance: My signature "Happy Birthday" song via voicemail, along with much deserved groveling and apology.

My husband frequently calls during the day, just to be sweet and say Hi. Too often, I've picked up with something like this blurting out: "Hurry up.. I have Lily and London in the bath and Lily is splashing water all over the floor." Not even a complimentary "Hello sweetheart" in return. It's a sad day when your husband begins responding to your voice with phrases like, "Yes, Maam."

Check: You are a mean wife.
Balance: Can't tell you about that. Let's just say I've got my ways of "restoring the peace".

All day, every day...this list. Do(s) and Don't(s). Successes and failures. Checks and balances. Some days I'm winning, others I'm losing. But always, I'm trying.


jenniferoharra said...

Love this post! I feel this way too. We try to do it all but sometimes it just doesn't come out that way.

Anonymous said...

Let's not let slide that I also forgot your birthday this year. And not by a day. So..we're even.

And I don't care if the song is a day late as long as I get it. Did I mention I played it for everyone in Boise? Got a few laughs out of it. :)

Daron and Jamee said...

I. Am. Laughing. Thanks for being so honest in your everyday life! It's a good thing that we do have balances with our checks, like REPENTANCE everyday. Sometimes, (like after conference weekend)I feel so pumped to live life to the fullest and not make any mistakes, only to find that it is really hard, so then I just go back to relying on the Lord for everything. It's the only way.

Daron and Jamee said...

Did you get your family pictures back yet??

Joan said...

And it seems (unfortunately) that we tend to focus on the failures. Especially brilliantly talented, mostly perfect people like us! haha. Thank you for consistently being my longest/most faithful commenter.