Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Domino effect

Lily,

It has been almost two days since this terrible, no good, very bad day.

The day I came out from brushing my teeth in the bedroom to find you in the family room, painting this:



Your sister. With purple nail polish.



It's safe to say the day went all down-hill from there. Not only was London painted from head to toe, but the carpet, the NEW leather sectional, and the newly sewn throw pillow. All COVERED in midnight plum specks. Right there, SMACK DAB in the center of the family room.




As you can see, it wasn't pretty. What was even un-prettier was the mother Rae reaction. Screaming, crying, flinging, yelling, sobbing lunatic reaction. A miserable, incoherent, shocked, dizzy, freaking out reaction.

CAN A MOTHER GET TWO MINUTES TO BRUSH HER FREAKING TEETH?!!! I SCREAMED.

CAN I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A LOUSY 120 SECONDS WITHOUT YOU RUINING MY HARD EARNED FURNITURE AND CARPEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!???? I YELLED.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!!!! BATHE LONDON IN NAIL POLISH REMOVERRRRRRRRRRRRR?!!!! I SOBBED.

It really didn't help that it was our week to host your first co-op preschool lesson with four other children, due to arrive in the next fifteen minutes. Strangly enough, I managed through the tizzy to at least snap a photo, march you to your room, spank your bottom, shut/slam the door, and call my husband and mother to share in the sobs.

Like I said, it was all down-hill from there:

Mothers arrived to find me with streaked mascara.The carpet man arrived to give an estimate of 200 dollars to patch the carpet. Oh yeah, and that didn't count the 76 dollars of remnant carpet I would have to purchase to create the patch. 276 dollars of hard earned Christmas money.To top off the horror, the preschool children witnessed you receive yet another spanking when you fiercely pulled Mya's hair during lessons.

This out-of-control, hypocritical, spanking debacle (As I claim to be numbered among the NoSpankZone progressives) left me miserably devouring the remaining homemade chocolate bundt cake from the previous night's dinner during your nap time. An equivalent of around nine whole slices. All the while, thinking through each sulking bite: WHAT A HORRIBLE MOTHER. A fat one too.

My darling Girl, I am so sorry.

Two year olds that find nail polish paint with it. Homes with children in it are bound to be destroyed aesthetically but filled with bliss emotionally. I know this. You probably pulled poor Mya's hair because you were frustrated with the rampant, stinging hideous-ness of your fleshy bum meeting my hand. After all, Mommy solves her crisis with indignant violence...why wouldn't you use the same methods to reclaim your pink My Little Pony?! And now that it has been a fresh 24 hours since I have stopped shaking everytime I enter the purple smudge room, I have gleaned a tiddy taddy bit of perspective. Guilty, sorrowful perspective. It was a bad day. A terrible, no good, very bad day.

And I'll try my hardest we don't have any more like them. Promise. I wouldn't trade you for all the cleanest, shiny, non-polish stained homes in the world.


I love you, my wonderful girl.


Love always and always and always,

Your guilt-ridden, adoring, and still very much a work in progress -

Mommy

(*And side note to Nonna and Pop Don- Please resist the urge to hurry home from your lovely vacation to rescue poor Lily from Crazy Momma. I can assure you, you've raised a good son indeed, and he'll be sure to lock me in my room the next time Lily sets a'painting in the house. We miss you!!!)


6 comments:

jenniferoharra said...

OMG Rachel! I feel like laughing and crying for you at the same time! I'm sure I would react the same way-you are not a bad mom! And you manage everything with laughter which is very important!

Jacob Hansen said...

OH MY FREAKING CRAP!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. Rachel. you and tyler have the cutest girls in the world and I MISS THEM SOOOO MUCH. Sorry about the disaster but still they can do anything in my book. There cuteness alone justified it all. OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I just busted up laughing in the wilk looking at these picture.

Cynthia said...

Rachel,

I have to admit that before I read a single word I saw the pictures of London and thought it was blood! So when I read it was nail polish I just had to laugh!

Let’s see..... What I think happened is that Lilly saw you getting ready and looking so "bewful" and wanted to help you out by adding the final touches to London. Hence the beautiful bright nail polish! And look.... London is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE in that Purple Nail polish! ;-)

The reality is that as hard as we try to be that perfect mom, wife, daughter, friend, aunt..... We are sooooo human (and full of emotion!). Don't worry, our kids for the most part, block out our "extreme moments of emotion" and remember the other more important lasting expressions of emotion!

The plus in all this is now you have documented this "special moment" and can use it as "ammo" "bribery" or whatever when she is a teenager giving you a bit of "attitude".

Keep doing the amazing job that you are doing! Thanks for sharing these "real life" moments and for being such a great example to our daughters!

Cindy Martinez ;-)

Joan said...

OH RAE! Such is our lives!
I am afraid we have many more years of this to come...many, many more blissful years filled with fat, squishy babies, cheeks to kiss, and giggles to share. Let our mantra be that "things" don't matter, neither does a well decorated home, fashionable wardrobe, or a flat, well tanned tummy.
I am still SO sad for your carpet, sectional, and pillow.

Amy said...

The part I love the most is thinking of you, shaking you're so upset, getting out the camera to document it for the blog.

love it!

Anonymous said...

Poor Rachel,
Believe me, ALL mothers have exprienced those days. Hang in there, you just need to find a new place for your nail polish.
Miss all of you! See you in a week!
Love Nonna