Saturday, January 3, 2009

He really said it...

If Tyler and I ever end up on the marital therapy sofa, I'm positive the source of conflict will be 99.999% attributable to driving in a vehicle together (barring he cheats on me...then there will be no marital sofa...just a knife).

We can be having a perfectly wonderful day - but combine him in the driver seat (men blasting Fall Out Boys to the point of deafness never make for good drivers) and me in the passenger seat (control freaks never make for good passengers) - and the effects of a previously pleasant meal and good conversation are quickly worn down, reduced to the type of shouting reality tv producers would be thrilled to discover.

On a particularly miraculous afternoon, we managed to have a completely calm conversation while driving, and the conversation was about driving no less (it didn't hurt that we were only in the car for a total of 5 minutes, on the way to my parents up the street). It went something like this:

Rae: "Ty, here is what drives me crazy about your driving: First, you're competitive. For the love, I have no idea why you always have to be ahead of everyone, like it is some kind of a sport? It is so male, and confuses me. Second, you're all about the rules, with no flexibility. For example: if someone cuts you off and runs through a stop sign when it really is your turn, you'll just continue driving through and allow the crash on principle of being right! All I'm trying to say (or scream), is that even if you are correct, isn't it better to avoid the crash all together?! Stupidity trumps rules, and you have to be willing to modify to the idiotic behavior of the other driver."

Ty: "But here's the thing,'s like football. I'm really good at anticipating what the other guy is doing, it's like I can see the whole "play" unfolding and I do work around it. That's what I was always good at. I was never necessarily the fastest, but I was really good at assessing what was occurring around me, even sometimes before it started."

Rae: "Did you really just compare driving to the game of football?"

Heaven help me. But, for the record...he's never been in an accident. And let's just say, I've had some minor mishaps (they didn't count as full-fledged accidents, so I still qualify as a decent authority on the art of driving too).
Maybe he was, gulp, swallow, cough cough....right. Afterall, he was the most decorated football player on the team back in the day (is decorated even the right word?) know what I mean...the one the coach practically cried over during the post -season speeches. Me? I was the fluffy cheerleader who had NO IDEA he was as good as he was - all I remember about those special banquets was how hot he looked in a hat.
Those were the days. We understood our roles perfectly: I hung out giggling with my friends and obsessing over my thighs during football games (doing wonderfully dignified things like calling out defense cheers when we were most certainly NOT on defense), he focused on the game and forgot to wave or compliment my half-time homecoming nominee dress, and later we met up behind his car to make-out until my Dad's death threats rolled in on both cell phones.

It was love.
Now, if only we could figure out our roles within the vehicle.


jenniferoharra said...

Oh I can so relate to this! Shaun's driving scares me to death and my feet are always up on the dash board! I'm so a back seat driver too! :)

Happy New Year!

Amy said...

I loved this one Rae. Can you tell more stories about how you met and dated in future blogs?? I feel like I missed out on some of it. And I know there are PLENTY of stories!!! ;)

The Orchard Life said...


It's Laina. : ) I never comment on your blog even though I read it ALL the time. You have been especially good lately and post them frequently. Thank you. I appreciate your dedication because I become impatient and agitated when I have to wait to get my Rae updates. :)

Anyway, I felt a comment was appropriate tonight because I'm especially excited that you added a book recommendation column. I'm always looking for a good book and I think I'll try The Question of God out. Sounds very interesting!

I'm so happy to see/read that you and your wonderful family are doing so well! If you ever feel like getting away and seeing the Big Apple, you can always come stay in with me in my spacious penthouse* in the trendy Lower East Side. ;)

Hugs & Kisses,

* Penthouse meaning 5th floor of a walk-up building and no it does not count as a "workout". Just enough to make you out of breath (every time) but not enough to actually give you buns of steel.

Rae's Corner said...

Hi all three of ya'll -

I've missed you!

Laina, I would DIE to come to the Big Apple and visit. Sigh.
Unfortunately and fortunately, we are saving for the big trip to Disneyland and possibly Hawaii this summer! Yippeee!

Are you going back to Seattle?


Joan said...

How is it that you have the ability to make me laugh the ENTIRE way through your posts?! Your writing style casts a laughing spell on me or something!?

The Orchard Life said...

Disneyland AND Hawaii?! You lucky girl! I want to get away to a beach right now. It's so cold here! I guess it is pretty cold in Reno though too.

So, Seattle.... yes, I will move back, but it probably won't be for another year. It's definitely in the plans though!