Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Quality Television

Tyler entered our bedroom last night right as I was blowing my nose into a sock, sobbing over my Tivo'd Oprah show on obese teenagers.
Somehow, husbands don't understand the love of O. Will they ever?
It certainly doesn't help the situation that the context he arrives into involves me practically hyperventilating through my tears as a 500 pound teenage girl screams
"I 'd rather die than be fat!" over the television screen.

However, after my Oprah show was finished/fast-forwarded through, I can attest to the fact that there's nothing better than curling up with your man after the kids are asleep and shifting gears to the tantalizing wonder of reality t.v. bliss: The Bachelor.

I find it ironic that my husband will continually roll his eyes through an Oprah broadcast on hormonal replacement therapy and yet be perfectly willing to watch The Bachelor with me as an objective viewer. What could possibly be the bait in all of this chick-flickness that is keeping my man interested? I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it probably starts with a B and rhymes with schmoobs.
However, I encourage this interaction together, choosing to view quality programs portraying women attempting to sell themselves like cattle as a momentous teaching opportunity. As a wife, this is your only regular weekly chance to cozy up together and remind your man that there are at least twenty other beautiful women in the world that are twice as insanely pathetic as you.

After witnessing petty fighting, hateful gossip, malicious back-biting, and women who are ready to sacrifice everything - from their souls to their precious cat Coconut - in an effort to marry a man they barely know....my husband is once again refreshed in gratitude for his very normal, retainer-face, pigtail girl in sweats lying next to him. Except, as the previous post implied, when it comes to vacuuming or mopping.

Thanks Bachelor, what ever would I do without you?

9 comments:

Daron and Jamee said...

Dang you people who actually have the technology to get channel 8.
Dang analog TV.
I watched the first episode of the Bachelor, SOOOOOOOOO excited for this season, because it is JASON the super single dad, and than channel 8 decided to leave all of us ice age analog TV viewers in the dust EARLY...an I am not buying a converter box.

I am buying a digital TV, but not until I move in April, so...can you do me a favor and invite me over for an all day, let the kids play in your play room, and I'll supply snacks while we veg and catch up on The Bachelor...

Thanks in advance,
Jamee

Daron and Jamee said...

That means you cant erase your episodes.
If you already did, we can still be friends.

I am okay with that.
Jamee

Alexis said...

Wouldn't that be funny if the Oprah show happened to discover your blog...what a crazy idea - and way to go with an Orprah blog "just in case"!
MOM;)

Rae's Corner said...

Jamee- you've got a deal.

As long as you promise to make that hummus you made the other day. I've been dreaming of it ever since.

Mom- you can come to. And I won't tell Jamee that you've also been caught watching "Girls Next Door" back when you still sported a television in the house either.

Dan & Ali said...

Alright ladies--two things!

1. Oprah. It certainly is a woman thing. Yes I can enjoy the occasional bit of Oprah drama--but it gets DEPRESSING constantly focusing on the weird in our world. Yes, I admit she does a good number of shows on positive stories. Oprah is an amazing story herself, but her TOTAL bias has got to go! Watch something worthwhile like JEOPARDY! (If you had to pick Oprah or Trebeck for a Senate seat, who would you choose?!)

2. The Bachelor. Yes Tyler watches it for the Schmoobs.

auntie mal said...

Ya, Jamee just a little warning when some one starts talking about something a liitl........mabe.........................inapropriate she might suddenly YELL or say PLUG YOUR EARS or Mal GO OUT QUICK. Thought I might wanna warn you! hahahahha I know rachel does it for me and to protect me yayayayaya! But rae just so you no i am just about 13 its ok if someone says SHUTUP or O M G(u no wat i mean) SO thnxs rae and good luck Jamee!
luv ya

auntie mal said...

Oh ya PS I was talking about u and her vegging! hahaha sry! Oh and if and when you have your Oprah and Bachelor day I am always avialable to babysit for my favorite neies and favorite kids(Thats yours Jamee) So CALL ME!!!!! And LILY u can call me ANY TIME SAME GOES FOR YOU LONDON!

Sarah Hansen said...

Rae, all of the girls in the house wait in anticipation for the bachelor to post on youtube....WE ARE OBSESSED. GO MELISSA!!!! Oh but I can't wait for DeAnna to return????!! Aaahhh

Sarah Hansen said...

Oh and Danny back off Oprah or fear your life.