Tuesday, April 21, 2009

All in the contract...

Lily: "Mommy, I dus love a boy-ee." (Mommy, I just love a boy.)

"Yes Lu, you love your Daddy."

"No, dus anoder boy." (No, just another boy.)

"Nooooooo you don't."

"Yesssssh I doooooo."

"What boy?"

"Ni ko lasss." (Nicholas. 17 year-old cousin who lives in Utah)

"Okay, I guess." (At least he lives far away.)

"I dus going to kiss a boy-ee."


"No no no no no, you only kiss your Daddy."

This is what I call a great example of the fine-print of parenthood. Anytime Tyler starts freaking out and getting uncomfortable because Lily is doing some anatomical exam in the bathtub or begins asking about kissing I have to remind him, "Dear...this is the fine-print section in the contract when you signed up to be a parent. Nobody directly alerts you and commands you to read it before you sign, but it's there. It's like that forty paragraph section on Craigslist or Ebay that you scroll through quickly without reading, and click I Agree."

The fine print refers to anything to do with body parts, functions, feelings, and general future explanations of the birds and the bees. The fine print refers to zealously monitoring your child and other playmates during pre-school recess to make sure no "doctor" games are occurring. The fine print refers to any other necessary parental task that induces total heeby jeebies, makes you want to crawl into a hole and plead to your spouse, "You handle this."

Tyler and I have a deal:

He'll handle the boy stuff.

I'll take care of the girl stuff.

But... I may never have sons. That would be sooo not fair.


Amy said...

This part of the whole parent scenario scares me to no end!!! I don't even have to worry about not seeing it in the contract because I don't even have kids yet and I am already worried. This has already happened to Jamie and I when we used to baby-sit. One time we were telling bedtime stories and the little 6 year old girl started to tell us one about sex! Yeah awkward conversation w/ the parents later...

Amy said...

uhoh, Lily loves "anoder" boy besides her daddy. Poor Tyler, he's in trouble.

I wouldn't worry, you still have a while before she brings one home (hopefully).

I won't let Chad read this blog because he might be turned off of kids when he realizes all those little things you don't think of prior to having them. hm.


Daron and Jamee said...

1. thanks for your sweet comment on my blog.
2. your right, we probably will look back and laugh. Hard.
3.Thanks for calling to say hi today.
4.I lost your birthday present.
5.come over tomorrow (to my new house) the kids wont be there, but I will be.
6. I will stop by tomorrow to see your grass.