Monday, August 10, 2009

What girls (or boys) do.

Mallory and Larissa caught this photo and I loved it regardless of its grainy nature. Cinderella and cheerleader sharing a hug (or headlock).

Last week, at the car wash, the friendly checker boy handed me my receipt and as we pulled into the wash, Lily - with a furrowed brow of curiosity mixed with alarm- proclaimed:

"Mom, dat boy has eawwings!" (Mom, that boy has earrings.)

"Yes, he does."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why?"

"Because it is his choice."

"Why?"

"Because he likes it."

"Why?"

I thought about this final answer,
"Because some things are gender neutral."
but immediately knew that the words gender and neutral would open up a whole conversation of questions and answers that no three year-old really needs to be thinking about, let alone would understand. I could go on with, "There was a time when women only wore skirts, and thought it innappropriate to wear denim. Tyler is technically a boy's name, but I used it as your middle name because I like the balance of masculinity to femininity. Sometimes boys use that same license to do things that were originally thought of as 'girl' things. Some think earrings are fine, most still put their foot down when it comes to eyeliner."

Instead, I opted for continual "I don't know" answers to avoid sounding too critical while searching for a more gray, three year-old appropriate answer. When I can avoid spilling overwhelmingly strong judgement on minorly important situations with my child, I do. I'm black and white in enough areas, so when I come across gray ones, I bask in the opportunity to remain in the comfortable "I just don't know" camp. My personal opinion is that the boy's earrings weren't cute. If he were my son I would wonder who he is trying to impress and worry, after demanding removal. I think Jon Gosselin looks like a loser with his (thirty something year old men who have just abandoned their wife and kids never look good with piercings...it really is that black and white). My preference is men without jewelry.

But, at the same time, I grew up in close proximity to another family who constantly gushed enough judgement and hatred of those who differed from their ways of living that by the time their children were 4 years-old, they would have been able to forcefully answer Lily's question with something like,
"Cuz he's a Commie pinko sissie and should be shot."

Whoa. Talk about something even uglier than earrings.












1 comment:

auntie mal said...

yes i did catch that picture thank you! lily and london were hugging!!!!i love my girlies!