Thursday, September 17, 2009

Privacy? Really?

I keep toying with the idea of "going private" with my blog. The endless stream of paranoid thought runs in a pattern like this:

Me post pictures.
Life looks good.
Serial killer becomes obsessed.
Begins stalking.
Planning the perfect abduction of posted beautiful children.
Murder of blogess.
Blog becomes the next Dateline NBC:
The happy mother, wife - living the American suburban dream
life - a life suddenly shattered on a dark Summer night
Or even worse: the bishop of my church finds out
I swear and use the word "spank"
(in reference to my husband - not children)
Am I freaking you out as much as I freak myself out?
And what is the point of a blog anyways?
To join the staggering deluge of every other blogger attempting to carve out a page in the universe?
What do I care?
If this is about a record for my kids, I should keep it at that: a record for my kids.
Private it is.

Then another stream of thought enters:

But... I like attention.
I like to be noticed.
I have an ego with the inflation capacity of our current US dollar.
I have opinions.
And think they should be heard.
When I snap a cute picture of my kids, I want the world to see it.
Well, not the world...just you. I want you* to see it.
Because you seeing it helps me see it more clearly.
I view my life from an outsiders perspective.
And decide it is a good one.
One for the record books.
Or the blog book at least.

*(Unless you are the aforementioned serial killer - then just be prepared - I will kill you. I WILL kill you. You will die a miserable death, a horrendous one. A torturous one.)

And thus,

The war rages on.

But the fact that it continually weighs on my mind says something. And I've made my decision: in one week's time I will be setting this blog to "PRIVATE".
So please, I beg you....if you are not the serial killer I am supposing you could be, attempt signing in to the blog. Even if I don't know you directly (I still love you. In fact I adore you, and you are the ones I'm worried will think you're no longer wanted. You'll be like me, and feel like a loser to admit that you must 'ask permission' to enter someone's blog who doesn't even know you. But I like you, and you are invited. It is the SERIAL KILLERS only that aren't allowed. And you're not a serial killer, are you?)
You will be granted permission, I promise. And I will be flattered that you still care to read....that someone still notices.




P.s. You can also email me your email address, I will add you to the my permission's list, so email me at


Daron and Jamee said...

Can I be invited to read your private awesome life?


And I promise I will say lots of awarding things to you and your will love the attention!

Alexandra said...


Ciara said...

OH. MY. If you don't let me into read... I will have a meltdown!

Anonymous said...

You are my favorite favorite of all my blogs. I have two little boys and love seeing the other side of the story!

Thanks! Erin

Steven and Wendy OBryant said...

I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm doing this and maybe, JUST MAYBE, you will be creeped out and say, "no, I don't think I'll allow you onto my blog." I promise I'm not a frequent stalker, but your writing is so clever and keeps me thoroughly entertained on slow days at work. You probably don't even remember me, but I was friends with Danny at BYU-Idaho and roommates with Ashley Klepinger. Also, my brother is your bishop and I assure you - of all Bishops out there - he'd be the one NOT to care about you saying "spank" in reference to your husband. :) my email is if you're feeling kind enough to let me indulge in the witty banters of your blog.

jenniferoharra said...

I also love reading your blog missy! I do understand your concerns though.

Joan said...

You KNOW I love you:

Matt and Kendall said...

hey Rachel add us too! I love reading about your daily adventures and your family is ADORABLE!

Thanks. Kendall (Hawley) Keeler :)

auntie mal said...

ok rae i admit it i am your freak stalker! bahahahhhahaha JUST KIDDING! Uh u have to add me NOT SOMETHING even to consider i am a forsure!!!!!!!! and now i know where i get my attention wanting DISEASE! haha seriously though add me!