Thursday, September 17, 2009

Privacy? Really?


I keep toying with the idea of "going private" with my blog. The endless stream of paranoid thought runs in a pattern like this:

Me post pictures.
Life looks good.
Happy.
Serial killer becomes obsessed.
Begins stalking.
Planning the perfect abduction of posted beautiful children.
Murder of blogess.
Blog becomes the next Dateline NBC:
The happy mother, wife - living the American suburban dream
life - a life suddenly shattered on a dark Summer night
Or even worse: the bishop of my church finds out
I swear and use the word "spank"
(in reference to my husband - not children)
Am I freaking you out as much as I freak myself out?
Yes.
And what is the point of a blog anyways?
To join the staggering deluge of every other blogger attempting to carve out a page in the universe?
What do I care?
If this is about a record for my kids, I should keep it at that: a record for my kids.
Yes.
Yes.
Private it is.

Then another stream of thought enters:

But... I like attention.
I like to be noticed.
I have an ego with the inflation capacity of our current US dollar.
I have opinions.
And think they should be heard.
When I snap a cute picture of my kids, I want the world to see it.
Well, not the world...just you. I want you* to see it.
Because you seeing it helps me see it more clearly.
I view my life from an outsiders perspective.
And decide it is a good one.
One for the record books.
Or the blog book at least.

*(Unless you are the aforementioned serial killer - then just be prepared - I will kill you. I WILL kill you. You will die a miserable death, a horrendous one. A torturous one.)


And thus,

The war rages on.

But the fact that it continually weighs on my mind says something. And I've made my decision: in one week's time I will be setting this blog to "PRIVATE".
So please, I beg you....if you are not the serial killer I am supposing you could be, attempt signing in to the blog. Even if I don't know you directly (I still love you. In fact I adore you, and you are the ones I'm worried will think you're no longer wanted. You'll be like me, and feel like a loser to admit that you must 'ask permission' to enter someone's blog who doesn't even know you. But I like you, and you are invited. It is the SERIAL KILLERS only that aren't allowed. And you're not a serial killer, are you?)
You will be granted permission, I promise. And I will be flattered that you still care to read....that someone still notices.

:)

Love,

Rae

P.s. You can also email me your email address, I will add you to the my permission's list, so email me at thaack99@hotmail.com.






9 comments:

Daron and Jamee said...

Can I be invited to read your private awesome life?

Jamee
jandda@gmail.com

And I promise I will say lots of awarding things to you and your family...you will love the attention!

Alexandra said...

PICK ME PICKE ME!!!!!!!!

AlexandraLMartinez@gmail.com

Ciara said...

OH. MY. If you don't let me into read... I will have a meltdown!

erin said...

You are my favorite favorite of all my blogs. I have two little boys and love seeing the other side of the story!

silver.suitcase@gmail.com

Thanks! Erin

Steven and Wendy OBryant said...

I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm doing this and maybe, JUST MAYBE, you will be creeped out and say, "no, I don't think I'll allow you onto my blog." I promise I'm not a frequent stalker, but your writing is so clever and keeps me thoroughly entertained on slow days at work. You probably don't even remember me, but I was friends with Danny at BYU-Idaho and roommates with Ashley Klepinger. Also, my brother is your bishop and I assure you - of all Bishops out there - he'd be the one NOT to care about you saying "spank" in reference to your husband. :) my email is wendy.obryant@gmail.com if you're feeling kind enough to let me indulge in the witty banters of your blog.

jenniferoharra said...

I also love reading your blog missy! I do understand your concerns though.

Joan said...

You KNOW I love you:
joankoplin@gmail.com

Matt and Kendall said...

hey Rachel add us too! I love reading about your daily adventures and your family is ADORABLE!

mattlkeeler@gmail.com

Thanks. Kendall (Hawley) Keeler :)

auntie mal said...

ok rae i admit it i am your freak stalker! bahahahhhahaha JUST KIDDING! Uh u have to add me NOT SOMETHING even to consider i am a forsure!!!!!!!! and now i know where i get my attention wanting DISEASE! haha seriously though add me!