Friday, January 29, 2010

Two weeks on love and marriage, and where the two hopefully intersect.

The natural progression of marriage leads towards deterioration.

Hold up. Try that again.

The. natural. progression. of. marriage. leads. towards... deterioration.

How's that for a Valentine's topic?

Sigh, so romantic.

Today, my sinuses feel like two giant cannon balls have settled inside and are about to spontaneously combust my brain. I feel so ill that my gracious mother-in-law picked up my girls this morning so I can have a day of rest. So, while I'm lying here in bed, I had nothing better to do than come up with depressingly cynical statements about marriage. (Don't worry, you'll see where this is headed)

I'm going to engage in shameless self-promotion, and provide the following analogy (since I'm soooo good at those, right?). I am humbly offering my recommendation that it be included in all ceremonial services to be read before any two individuals tie the knot.

Ah hem, hear ye, hear ye (Pachabel's Canon in D would be an appropriate backdrop) :

Marriage is like being placed on an escalator. One of those flat escalators you see in big airports that run horizontally without stairs. Your destination to a happy life and fulfilling marriage lie at the end of it. Dependent on where and how you begin your marriage, what baggage you're bringing to the table, you will both be placed hand in hand somewhere along that very, very long escalator (i.e. the distances to travel will vary). But, here's the catch: the escalator floor beneath you will be moving you in the opposite direction of the destination you are trying to reach. You must walk backwards, at a good clip - against the current - if you plan on reaching the destination. If you simply stand still, holding hands and staring stupidly into each others eyes, you will slowly be transported to the end of the ride. Game over.

The current pulling you in the opposite direction represents all of the stresses: the bills, the finances, raising the children, leaving the lid up, the occasional monotony, family dramas, work loads, societal pressures, differing opinions, etc. etc.

Sometimes one will fall, sometimes one will even selfishly sit down, and when this happens - it is up to the two of you to gather yourselves up again and begin running to regain your placement. One may even occasionally piggy-back on the other when needs arise, but be careful about that one, because the strength of one cannot be compromised for too long without it eliminating the strength of both.

It requires discipline. Good shape. Making sure the other is right there with you.

Now, get walking. Even when you don't feel like walking. Even when you are sure you're a safe enough distance from the 'game-over' side. You must never. quit. walking.


For the next two weeks, I will be posting various topics on Tyler and I's own walk. The things that keep us going, what can trip us up, and hopefully something that will help you keep the pep in your step on your own escalator of life as well.

And if you're annoyed with my analogies, stop reading. Or, commiserate with my siblings, who can all attest to the fact that I bombard them with analogies/similes/metaphors more fiercely than the cannons bombarding my nostrils...

God is like a surgeon...using the skill of his knife to save your life (oooo! that rhymes!)

The Kardashians are like a group of monkeys occupying the nicest part of the jungle...really fun to watch but should be caged for your safety.

Families are like a flower pot...mostly beautiful with a few noxious weeds sucking the life out.

Sex and the City is like porn for women...full of tantalizing imagery and corrupt/false ideals.

Stay tuned.


Erin said...

OOo! Can't wait!

Alex said...

LOL...Don't worry, I love your analogies...keep 'em coming! I think my favorite in this post is the Sex and the City.

Amy said...

So excited! I love to be continued type stuff...and I like your metaphors by the way. Keep 'em coming.