Monday, February 8, 2010

His & Her Part 2 & The Belly Baby




Before we get to Part II of our questionaire, I must include today's pictures of our belly baby. This jolly chub of burnin' love adores climbing onto the couch and pulling up her shirt. She urgently requests Mommy rub her "baaa eeeee". Best part of the afternoon, by far.







Ok, here we go: Part II

Rules (reiterated): You must answer your question without viewing the other's answer, and Rachel is not allowed editorial detail (again?!).

It's rather long. You better be pretty bored if you plan on finishing it.




How do you show your appreciation for one another?


His: Rachel is definitely much better at this, but I try to show my love for her in multiple ways (some ways just aren't as effective as I think they should be, wink wink). One way is by working as hard as I can to show her and give her the comfort of knowing that we will be able to support the family that we are raising, and by giving her the chance to be with our children during the day.

I also try to show her that I am a good man and father that she can trust and rely on at anytime, because I know that that makes me feel loved when I see and know how good a mother Rachel is to our children. Another way is by saying the simple words of "I love you". Sometimes I feel that I can say it too much, so it can lose some of its luster, but I like to say it multiple times a day. I try to clean the house when she isn't expecting it. (The one thing that I always do that doesn't seem to work very well, and for some reason I haven't figured that out yet, is by flirting like a 5th grader. By that I mean always joking with her, love tapping her, wrestling with her, making fun of her outfits, etc.)

Her: Three letters.

Oh, besides that?…

For me, I try really hard (sometimes entirely too hard and therefore completely defeating the purpose) for our home to be a place that Tyler can land softly at the end of a hard day. I remember loving nothing more than coming home from a long day at school and extra-curricular activities, dealing with the brutish and often horrendous atmosphere of high school, and walking in to smell my mom cooking dinner. That feeling was so great, just of being home and with ones you love. So, I really try hard to have that for Tyler. I want our home to hug him when he walks in. On a cold winter night, I want him to walk into warmth and order and a nice meal. That is my thank you for him being the one who volunteers to deal with the realities of life while I enjoy making cheerio necklaces with my delightful girls.

Another thing I take seriously is our budget. We are a team, and if he brings home the majority of the income right now, I see it as my part to make it last and use it wisely. I handle the bills and the finances, and he shouldn't have to worry that I'm running up some absurd credit card bill while out shopping. Nor should he hear me complain about not having this or that, and making him feel inadequate. Handling the money in a wise manner and not whining over petty things is like holding up my end of the deal, and is one of the best ways I can show my appreciation. You bring home the bacon, hunnie, and I'll not only cook it - I'll ration it out and combine it with enough coupon-clipped canned beans to last for three solid months, I'll season it with brown sugar, and serve it on a table with candlelight like its prime rib for Christmas dinner. Yeah baby.

(Confession: this hypocritical statement does come on the heels of a newly purchased item of furniture bought entirely on a whim yesterday, and after the purchase of the zebra-print sparkle shoes for the girls, and the matching tutu's, and the iridescent face powder, and the...oh my gosh...what have I done?).


What do you love about each other most?

His: This is an extremely hard question because how do you define most: top 5, 10, 20? There are just so many things that I love about Rachel it is hard to pinpoint just a couple. Anyways, we will go with Top 5:

  1. Intelligent/Motivated: Rachel is the most intelligent woman I've ever met. She has these deep thoughts that are always enticing me and helping me grow as a man and a father. I know she could be the CEO of any company, or begin any pursuit in her life and take it to a level not many could achieve, but she is all the more amazing because she has chosen to postpone school/career for the time being to channel all of her talent into our family.
  2. Mothering/Parenting/Wife(ing): This attribute has always intrigued me when it came to Rachel. Ever since we have dated in high school you could tell that she would be the best mother. You could see it when she watched, talked about, and loved her younger sisters and brothers. Family has always been important to me and knowing that I would have someone by my side who felt the same way and could do it all is amazing. When it comes to being a wonderful wife she has the house clean and a hot delicious meal made for me almost every night. She treats me so well, there is nothing more I could ask from her.
  3. Gorgeous/Sexy: What more is there to say? Have you seen her?! She is the most beautiful woman and everyday she becomes more and more beautiful. She is like a fine wine... only gets better with age (At least that is what they say in the movies). I have always loved her smile, her curves, and her touch. I can never get enough.
  4. Makes ME a Better Man: There is no doubt in my mind that Rachel has been the most and biggest contributing factor to my success. Without her I have no idea where I'd be. Through her I have found more happiness everyday in love, in faith, in our family. So much of which should be attributed to her. How could you not love someone who has given you that much?
  5. She chose Me: With the attributes that I have already stated and many many more, she could have had anyone that she wanted and for some reason she fell in love with a punk high school kid that hadn't figured it out yet. For that I am extremely grateful, blessed, and one lucky man.

Those are some of the reasons why I will always love Rachel. There are many things that I love but I'll finish with "I love her love the most".

Her: Holy cow, get ready to vomit - because I can go on for days and really make a reader sick. I'll break down a few:

He is cheerful.
Seriously, Tyler is the most pleasant human being on the face of this earth to have in your company. Ask anyone...the boy is a party... a good one. Low key and yet hilarious and lively. Goofy and sensitive. A TOTAL guy's guy, and yet even my sisters enjoy hanging with him. I think he learned to enjoy life so well from his family and the atmosphere he grew up in. He gets excited about the little things: Christmas at our house is such a grand time of year, any new song he's obsessed with ends up blasted through the house on a Saturday morning as we clean bathrooms, he even kicks his feet in excitement and gets squealy when he crawls into clean, crisp sheets at night because he loves the sensation of warming up in a cold bed! Life is joyous for Tyler, and it is definitely a contagious spirit he has. I feel it more when he's around.

He's a hard-working beast of a man.
For example, he crawled into bed at 2am last night after driving all the way home from a business trip in Southern California, got up bright and early this morning and left for work before I woke up myself, and didn't return until 10:30pm tonight (after class). From the day we said 'I do', he has tirelessly worked full-time while simultaneously attending school full-time (earning his undergrad in Civil Engineering and a Masters in Business - done this May)...not to mention studying for his Professional Engineering license (P.E.) exam he'll take in April. Does this sound braggy? I don't care! Tyler would never tell you, so I am! And he never COMPLAINS! He is a testament to the strength and capabilities of a human-being to juggle more than you would think they can handle. He does amazing work, gets good grades, and still seems to miraculously have enough cajones left to arrive home and ask ME what I need help with?!!!


He is humble.

The last attribute lends itself easily to this one. Like I said, Tyler would NEVER be the one to tell you what he accomplishes in the course of one day (he'll already be embarrassed after reading what I've already written). Heck, I never even knew he was the kind of athlete in high school that he was: he never told me (and we all know that as a cheerleader I sure wasn't paying any attention to the actual sport I was cheering for). Wait, you were all-state what? You were MVP who? Captain T-money? You won what award?! Why didn't I know that?!
He's never been in it for the accolades.
Still isn't.


He is an AMAZING FATHER.

What more could you want in a husband? Really? You fall in love with this guy, marry him, and make babies with him. Then, with these babies, you experience such an all-consuming love, one that blows every cliche mention of maternal emotion right out of the water...and not only that, you actually have a man who actively participates and supports you in such a bond?! Get OUTTA TOWN! I love that he gets right down on their level. He read my little pregnancy books. He loves hearing stories about them while he's at work. He aches to get home and cuddle with them in bed. He changes diapers and finds missing socks. And he calls us "My girls". I love that.


He is my boyfriend.
I love that he still behaves like a boyfriend to me (ahem, but even better now, we can actually act on some of his 'loving gestures' without phone calls and rifle shots - no joke - from my Dad).
He still flirts and does all of the things that we all know I don't need to go into further detail about. He still makes me feel like a girl.

Is marriage as hard as they say?

His: I don't think that marriage is harder than anything else that comes with life. Life isn't easy and it takes work and so does marriage. I have noticed that the more you put into marriage the more you receive. The harder you work and the more unselfish you can be the easier and more beneficial marriage will be (and has been for us). Marriage is one of the most rewarding things in life, and anything that is actually of value doesn't come for free.

Her: Yes and No. Yes because it is work. It is definitely work. There are times you want to act like a totally heinous brat, but must work to behave the opposite way of what you're feeling for the good of your marriage and family. There is sacrifice. There are times that are super stressful. But No, because it isn't "hard" per se. Hard implies a sort of misery. There is no misery in worthy effort. The payoff is far greater than I imagined. And geez, we've only been married 6 years. Ask us this question in another 15.


If you could do it over, what would you change?


His: Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Everything that we have gone through we have gone through together and that has only made our bond stronger, even the small mistakes that we have made. With those small mistakes there is always a chance for growth, especially if we are working together as a team. As a whole we have acted as a team and that has definitely helped our chances of making the right decisions (two heads is better than one, right?).

Her: Not a thing. I mean it. Where we started, the decisions that we have made thus far, good and bad, have somehow landed us (by the grace of a higher power, no joke) where we are today. I am so grateful for where I am and what I have in my life. However, I do believe in the concept of 'good, better, best'. Do I believe that there are things in my life that, instead of being good, could have been done in a better or even best way? Absolutely. But no use speculating on that now, our life is too wonderful for that. So NO, I wouldn't change a thing.





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You're still here?!!


Thanks for sharing!








3 comments:

Daron and Jamee said...

Loved it all.
Thanks for sharing.
Jamee
xoxo

Sarah Hansen said...

Read every word. So sweet. I even teared up a bit.
p.s Lundy is so much bigger. Why do they grow so fast? I definitely need a little visit.

Renee said...

You two were so perfectly meant for eachother. So very different, and yet not any different at all from the highschool days. Love you both. Be home next week, let's plan a date.

Renee