Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The non-believer.

Do you believe in soul-mates? I don't. Or didn't. Oh, I still don't know.

To me, the notion of miraculously finding the only right person on planet earth, in a perfectly serendipitous moment, souls separated and now joined in unison - a one shot chance, seems a little Lifetime movie ridiculous. What about the person whose love dies? Are they destined to wander the planet, missing their other half - forever doomed to half-halfedness (not a real term)?

Or worse, what about the people who divorce their supposed soul-mates, what then? They'll arrive at the pearly gates of eternity only to learn that they screwed over their own destiny. Ouch.

Or those whose loves die/remarry/whatever the case may be... can one person have two soul-mates at separate times? Are some people's souls divided in half while others are split into thirds? Fourths?

To me, it seemed much more simple. Boy meets girl. Pheromones are matched up and brain synapses ignite some biochemical flame. Common goals, values, and kindness create content. Breeding occurs, as it has through the ages for even the lowliest of species, and offspring arrive. Really, it's a formula you could stick just about any two such pheromonally (also not a real term) compatible individuals in and expect relative success. Soul-mates were for drama queens.

But then, there was him. He, as in Tyler.

I'm telling you, this man just blows all of my basic assumptions right out the door. He's so....customized. So perfectly, exactly, fundamentally what I need. From his sense of humor right down to his skin (that boy tans so beautifully...mmm), he's just my kinda guy. His smell and his smile, his personality and his goofiness. His sense of fun and laughter and kindness. A harmonious blend of real man meets humility and gentility. His parenting style, the way he loves. So amazing. I mean it. It's weird. I just know him, and its through knowing him that I quite inexplicably seem to know myself better.

When he's on a business trip somewhere, I get the usual paranoia about something bad happening to him. Occasionally I'll try to objectively imagine surviving a future without him. I can imagine working, being positive for my girls, leading a rather successful aftermath...but I just can't imagine being with anyone else. I can feel it now, my soul closing up for eternity. Not open for business. I can't divide into thirds. I know I say this now - and pray daily I will never have to live up to any such talk - knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood, pray pray pray, pick up lucky pennies on the street and make wishes, blow out the candles on my birthday cake that it will never happen - but I am convinced I have the best there is to have. He is it. He will always be it.


Amy M. said...

Tears in eyes? Check.

I often wonder about this when I look at celebrities. They go from person to person to person. With every new movie and new co-star comes a new partner in life. And I think, is it just because we don't meet as many people as them? Is it just because I go to the same grocery store and bank and sandwich shop and I don't have the opportunity to meet lots of different people?

But then you look at couples who just scream soul mates! You and Ty. My parents. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

Hmmm...Must think about this more.

Joan said...

That's what I love about you, Rae...deep thoughts, a little sap, and always, ALWAYS comic relief (I laughed out loud at the "knock on wood, knock on wood, pick up pennies and make a wish...").


Good post Rae. My mom and I were just discussing this at dinner. We were actually, yet again, discussing Tiger and the future of his kids, which brought us to men cheating and using the "soul mate" excuse, when we both decided we don't believe in them.

Natalie in Sparks said...

Oh what a sweet post! You two are so cute, and I know what you mean about those feelings. I feel like Cameron is perfect for me!
Can I just tell you how much i LOVE that picture of you two? When and where was that taken? It is amazing!