Tuesday, February 8, 2011

More to come.

My camera is broken. {again} The girls sneaked off and played with it and bam!, suddenly the lens won't bother functioning.

Add that to:

the busted baby swing
the shattered glorious white pitcher I had on our dining room table
one seriously chipped silver candelabra
all of the cracked candlesticks in the candelabra,
every single destroyed household remote
my missing piano metronome piece {rendering it useless}




and you'll understand why I'm confiscating every one of their favorite toys and holding them ransom until I come up with a child labor agenda suitable to pay back their debt to {my} society.

Ugg. I attempted to take them shopping today. I need new running shoes, and was prepared to plop down a little cash for a workout outfit that makes me feel slightly more attractive than my usual vomited upon t-shirts and saggy sports bras. Call me crazy, but I have this awesomely bizarre fantasy of me working out to my 1997 TaeBo dvd in our living room in super tight spandex and Tyler arriving home unexpectedly from work only to be shocked by such hotness occurring right in front of his very own television. I need an outfit that can get the job done. {and hide the stomach pooch that Lily keeps pointing at and asking, "Mom, if you don't have a baby in there...why is it still sticking out?"}

How did they behave? Oh, you can guess. Running through the stores, hiding under displays, screaming, giggling, pretending they had to go potty at the most inopportune moments and then exclaiming "just joking!" after I had already placed all items on hold, ran them quickly to the nearest restrooms, and plopped their naughty bums on a toilet.

One nice old gentlemen was thoroughly enjoying the chaos train as we paraded down the aisles. He walked parallel to us and complimented their cuteness {thank you, their only saving grace} and gave me this advice: "Enjoy these little ones, it all goes by so fast."

My response? "You enjoy this. I want to shop by myself."

After making a total scene at our second stop and finally embarrassing me to the very core, I reneged on the pairs of jeggings I said I'd purchase for them, stomped angrily out to the car and promised spankings and naps upon arrival at the house. I didn't really plan to spank them actually {even though I really reaaaally wanted to}, I just like the silence and fear it instills on the car-ride home. Despite the command for quiet time, Lily did muster the courage to request that I drop her off to "live at Grandma's house instead".

Later, as I tucked them in for naps, London looked up at me sweetly and said, "But Mom...you still have to give me my spankin'."



And that is my story for today.

Stay tuned for updates on last weekend: Ellie Jane's blessing day coming up!!!! {once I get the photos uploaded from someone else's camera}


Artfulife said...

You seriously crack me up! Dean wonders why my trips to Target late at night are so sacred. Next time he asks I'm going to read this post to him. Lol. Hope the rest of the week goes better for you.

Mrs. Officer Andelin said...

Every time someone says that "this time goes way to fast and that I need to enjoy it...." blah blah blah... they always say it at the worst time. The time when you are thinking "this time is NOT going fast ENOUGH!!!"

Or- I like this one too: "Wow, you have your hands full!" I want to say, Great. Thanks. Why don't you do something about it?


Joan said...

Oh how we can all relate as Mothers on this and many, many other topics/scenarios!
Ps: I highly recommend Ross for work-out stuff..they have the brands but for much, much less. Even though Target is fairly priced you can still end up spending 70 bucks on a sports bra, spandex shorts, and a top. It's ridiculous!

Anonymous said...

Hi Rachel...you don't know me but I went to high school with your grandparents Dan and Sharon and then was fortunate enough to be neighbors with them for a long time. I've known your Dad since he was very young.

You are a very talented writer. I've been following your blog for some time but just never commented before. I really enjoy your entries and check in every morning to see what is new...right after I read Pioneer Woman's blog. Yours is every bit as good as hers and I am disappointed when there is no new entry.

I love your honesty and open attitude about kids, life, etc. Your girls are darling and very lucky to have such a wonderful heritage.

Keep up the good work!!

Sylvia Ford Hawley

Rae. said...

thank you and welcome Sylvia - i'm honored to be a stop in your day!