Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Go see this.

Still on a glorious semi-hiatus from all things computer for a few weeks. I need to continue for a bit longer. Doing a bit of spring cleaning in my life, internal and external (just cleaned out under our master bed last week - and words cannot begin to describe the horror).

But I still can't resist regularly popping in and checking out the latest here:

Go see for yourself. A handful of mothers are featuring their favorite books that also inspired their entirely handmade outfits for their children. To die for. The outfits, the books, the chubby little cherub children (Make sure to look at Rubyellen of Cakies...what a darling little bunch).

There is no way in heavens above I will ever do anything like it. I have not the time, interest, or patience, but oh boy it is fun to see. I admire these talents of a bygone era, and am so glad to see some sistas keeping it alive and real.
We are quite amazing creatures, us motherwomen....aren't we?

Later folks.


Anonymous said...

I wanted to bury this a ways back in your posts with the hope that nobody else but you would see it. Feel free to get rid of it as soon as it's found.

I know it's none of my business and I know it's not my place. I also know your publicly challenging an outspoken, opinionated blogger with a fallacious defense for her uninformed tirades doesn't mean you've now opened yourself and your blog to public scrutiny. But all that aside, can a silent statement undermine the values and visions of the Church just as much as one comprised of words?

As someone who's grown to admire and respect you through your writing, I was disappointed to see the statement you made by making an exception to your covenants for your bridesmaid wardrobe. I know we all have our corner-cutting tendencies in the church (and I'm by no means perfect), but when fashion trumps religion (even on special occasions), it seems like there's a disconnect between what we say we believe (and have covenanted to live by) and how we act when living along those lines is no longer convenient. The sanctity of life and the sacredness of temple ordinances and covenants carry equal weight in the church, and a wedding isn't an event that exempts us from demonstrating our commitment to those beliefs to those outside our faith. A bridesmaid dress is not a uniform. It's a fashion statement. And how you wear it makes a statement.

At a wedding outside our faith, wouldn't it seem more important to make a statement of our faith and commitment to those looking on by not making that exception? Can't you still support your friend/sister/whatever in her union while still making clear to her and everyone else there that you are grateful for the decision you made to marry in the temple? That your forever with your husband and your girls isn't something you take lightly? Not something you'd simply cast aside for fear of standing out or committing some sort of wedding fashion faux-paux?

Again, it's not my place to say anything. I'm not even sure why I said it and I really do hope this post disappears (don't worry...I won't haunt you for any sort of censorship). I just know, and am sure that you know, that the promises we make in the temple have meaning and are worth making adjustments & changes to things & tastes & preferences & fashions that don't have eternal value and don't bring lasting happiness. It doesn't really work vice versa.

Other than that...please keep standing up for what you believe in. It's great to see someone so brave. In the meantime, I'll keep working on me too. Thanks for listening.

Rae. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rae. said...

Hey anon,

Thank you so much for your very respectful concern. You didn't need to "bury" your comment, but I appreciate your sensitivity to the matter and wanting to privately express concern. That is very kind of you and I thank you for that. You are not the first member who probably raised an eyebrow, isn't that what we all do when we see photos that look 'questionable' as to whether or not a temple endowed adult is wearing their garments?!

I think we simply disagree on when it is an appropriate versus inappropriate time to shed the temple garment. I believe, as much as I like the simplicity of a black & white blueprint, that there is a spectrum of reasonable limits. I also think there are things well outside of that spectrum that are wildly inappropriate.
I do not think it would be appropriate for me today, because it is a warm summer day, to simply head outside in my tank-top and have lunch with my girlfriends and avoid wearing my garments. Some people believe you should wear garments immediately after having sex, and some don't. Some believe you should wear garments while exercising, some don't. Some believe that the minute you walk off of the beach while on vacation in Hawaii, you should put your garments on and not wear any form of swimsuit cover-up to the market.

And I'm not about to make the case that either side are "right" and "wrong". I think at that point, each man/woman can rely on their own level of revelation and personal relationship with the Spirit to decide what is best for them.
I made this decision regarding bridesmaids dressings years ago, after a good non-member friend asked me to be in her wedding. At the time, I explained to her that she would have to find something garment appropriate for me. She was sweet and very respectful of my faith and agreed that would be fine. However, as time went on I could tell she was tormented at making dress decisions. She certainly was not getting what she envisioned for her own wedding. But me NOT being a part of it seemed like throwing the baby out with the bath water. In short, I was going to stand out like a sore thumb in photos she was paying thousands of dollars for. This was HER wedding, and ultimately I decided it was not my time to make a statement about my beliefs to the detriment of her wishes.
I spoke with a few very faithful members, all who had widely differing opinions, and decided to rely on my own personal revelation and I felt good about my final decision.

Rae. said...

Part two of my response, I am so long winded it had to be posted in two separate comments! see below:

I understand how in light of the conversation with the Mormon Child Bride this might all seem enormously hypocritical. However, I view a public stance on institutions performing abortions as much weightier than fine-print modesty/garment issues:

1. The killing of a quarter of a million unborn children annually = very much black and white issue. Very clear. No way.

2. You wore your gym shorts and tank to the grocery store today after working out: meh. Up to you.

Additionally, I do not claim in any way/shape or form to represent my Church publicly. You will all find no "Mormon" anything in my title, simply because I would make a terrible representative. Believe me, I fall short of practicing what I preach often. I could be exposed for hypocrisies here and there so quickly it would make my head spin!

I do not view my compliance with my sister's very tasteful dresses for her wedding as any breach of my integrity, salvation, or covenants. Quite to the contrary, it preserved family harmony in a very stressful wedding situation. I support and love my sister dearly, and she is more than aware of my pride and happiness in being a temple-endowed member of the Church.
Ironically enough, she would say it was members who scrutinize members in ways like this that made her never want to marry in the temple and leave the Church entirely. I do not say this to point a finger back in any way, I believe in accountability, and I sincerely appreciate this dialogue.

Thank you for your very sincere comments. Come back and visit soon, but I promise you: this will not be the last time you will raise an eyebrow at me!! haha.