Friday, June 3, 2011

Sib Series Presents: Sibling #6

Meet Forrest.

A.K.A. The orphan Hawaiian baby whose mother fell into a volcano.

Or at least that's what we told him as a child. booooohaaaahaaaaa.

The most important thing you should know about Forrest is that he is naturally tan.
Bizarrely Bronzed. 
After five toe-headed-pale-faced children, out popped this handsome devil with a golden hue. 

So naturally, as the loving older siblings that we were, he was taunted with stories of his long lost Hawaiian mother.
We did it for his own good. As you can see, it has made him tough:
(That's my boy.)
(2nd most important thing you should know about Forrest: he plays Rugby with old men.)

{and makes weird friends} {wink}

He was given the name Lloyd Forrest, and called Forrest long before any freak celebrity names were the mainstream thing to do. We claimed Forrest long before Forrest Gump, Bronx, Kal-el, Apple, Kyd, and Sage Moonblood.
And he's lived up to the name, but can hardly be described as anything mainstream. This kid walks to the beat of his own drum, and I love him for it. He is hilarious in more ways than one, smart, and as adventurous as they can possibly come (he regularly has my Mom in a nervous prayerful frenzy when he's off on his latest rock scaling, winter mountain climbing, midnight lake diving expeditions).
Occasionally we bump heads, such as when i ask a completely simple question:

"Hey Forrest, is (so and so) a good person?"

"What do you mean a 'good person'?"

"You know, just a good person? Is he a good person?"

"Well, the way you might define good and the way I might define good are completely different. So I can't answer your question."

"Forrest! For the love of all things *(#%#*@&! Answer the *$&@%&#) &%(#&(@ question!"


* Describe YOURSELF in three words.
Swank, Adventurous, in-tune 

 *What is your happiest memory, and what makes it so special?

    I agree with all of my fellow siblings on this... THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY A PERSON CAN ANSWER THIS (except maybe Harry Potter because we all know his favorite memory). I hope you will be satisfied with a simple happy memory.  I remember as a kid I loved army and, lucky for me, I was born with the enemy at my grasps so we could battle at any moment. I have been through battles with the mighty mud flinging armies of Jacob, where I had to move from the "bunker" (aka the fort we made in the hay) to the "pipelines" (dad's old pile of pipes) and plant the explosives. I remember taking some pretty bad wounds on these missions, like the time I took a mud clod to the eye and broke a blood vessel... After that, Dad ordered a cease fire on Jacob for a while. 

Once I was a little older Jacob was no longer the enemy but my Commander-in-Chief. He made missions for me from planting fake pipe bombs in strategic locations all over the Berry's yard to stealing golf balls from the Redhawk driving range in the cover of darkness (probably because he had been in his golfing stage ever since uncle Keith came into town and so he needed some balls to hit). To me these memories are priceless and although not all "touchy feely" "happy" they still put a grin on my face whenever I remember them. (i apologize for the Jacob worship)

*What do you love that you may not openly express?
This is the kind of question that should be asked to women only... 

{Insert editor note to audience: you see what I have to deal with here?}

*Why are you so secretive about your girl interests?...and who was that chick at Yogurt Beach with you the other day? Why did you ask me to leave so abruptly before she arrived? Are you embarrassed of your older sister? Did you notice us lurking in the parking lot watching you through the glass? 

    I am secretive because whenever ole Forrest mentions a woman, you all do two annoying things: 1) You all have to stalk her and "approve" and 2) For the next five years of my life I will hear "hows so and so" and "oh you're going on a date? I bet its with so and so"  not to mention, this is just plain insulting because you all assume I am incapable of wooing multiple women at a time. I also tend to see myself like James Bond... Did he go telling his family whenever he kissed one of his women? I don't think so. There's more style and mystery in not telling. If I have learned one thing from this family, it is that it is never a good idea to have family around when I am with a member of the opposite sex. The girl at yogurt beach is named Beth.  I did not notice you lurking thank goodness, but i did run into The Whites, The Beltons and best of all the Stoddards (my bishop!).

*What are you most grateful for? What are you LEAST grateful for?

I am most grateful for my mind and my height. I once heard a wise man say "I am thankful for being fat because it made me develop my personality to compensate for my looks and personality is much more important than looks". I see my height in the same respects. This is the same concept as blind people with exceptional hearing and vise-versa. The body compensates for survival. So I give my height credit for making me who I am today and for that I am thankful. 

I am least grateful for anything or anyone that restricts me from doing what I want. Unless its done with protection in mind.

*What do you fear? What makes you sad?

I fear falling. I think it's because you have time to realize what is going on and no way to change it. In almost every scenario you're in, you have a chance to make it turn out different. You have at least some control, but not with falling. 

What makes me sad? psh, not much. No I'm kidding, I get sad. I just don't like/let myself show it because I see no use in sadness. Seeing loved ones hurt, that makes me sad. 

*What characteristic do you most seek in the opposite sex? What quality does the 'girl of your dreams' possess that would really hook you?

I want a girl with depth. I don't want a girl that is superficial and materialistic. She needs to "get it". I am tired of these fake girls that are so basic and predictable. They need to be real people, not the modern robot girl that is being manufactured today. 

 *What is your definition of success? Who is your biggest role model and why?
 Success is simple- the creation of happiness for yourself and others. 
 It's hard for me to choose role models because I don't want to "model" anyone's "roles", but I would have to say my brother Danny because he is the first! We all have had someone blazing the trails for us, except him. He made his own life not because he had someone doing it all right in front of him but because that's who he is, the Trail blazer. 

If the whole world were listening to you and you only had two minutes to speak, what would you say?

    ... are you kidding? By far the hardest question of the night. I would have to speak about kindness, toughness, and I would tell them to not fear living. 

*What does your "happy place" look like?

 My happy place changes every day. In fact I have many happy places, but I might just have to choose Pig Rock. It is my little oasis in the desert. It is the best place around when there is a small drizzle of rain and sunlight hitting the rocks. I already know that I am going camping there with my future woman. 

 *What is your life motto?

  Life motto... um... as my small cowboy friend once said (although in very different context) "Reach for the sky" 

(Insert editor's note: If you're not familiar with Disney's Toy Story, I cannot help you.)

* A genie appears and grants you three wishes, what are they? (and no, you cannot wish for three more wishes)

    1. I wish I could remove stress from the world
    2. I wish I could kno
w the truth about God and the afterlife 
    3. I wish to be remembered


Well, wish 3 is granted, we certainly won't forget this interview.
Thanks for participating.....

and for not asking me to define "happy, love, fear, sadness, or life motto" before you would answer the questions. You're a real peach Forrest. I'm so glad your mother was dissolved in lava.


Dan & Ali said...

In the battle between Ian and Forrest's interviews, I'm pretty sure it would go all three rounds and end in a draw. Classics!

And "swank"?!?! I had to look that word up and owe Forrest a hearty 'thank you' for using it. 1) very Forrest and 2) great word for future use (note to editor: in the category of things I love but don't openly express, I would have to add 'words').

Finally, it's no coi-ink-i-dink that we just named our little boy Forrest. (Relatively) Big Forrest is a fine role model himself and we can only hope that our wee Forrest will grow up to be so swank. (Note to Jacob and Ian: not to say that you're not great role models too, simply that Finnan and Forrest sounds better than Finnan and Jacob or Finnan and Ian. Perhaps our next boy will be Iano Fred Poop Hansen?)

We love you Forrest!

Daniel said...

Ps. The world would be a better place if there were more big brother Jacobs to go around devising complex army games for boys. I missed out not having him to lead the games as he did for Forrest and the cousins.

As consolation, I'll just have to remind myself that at least I had uncle Ryan as a pseudo big brother!

Rae. said...

Actually Dan - "swank" in the sense Forrest uses it has been given its own definition by him and his friends. you'll have to ask him what it only forrest.

Sarah Hansen said...

Most entertaining of them all. I was looking forward to this one. That boy makes me laugh. We love you Lloyd :) Our own little Iron Will....