Thursday, July 14, 2011

Unfit parents.

We are not pet people. 

Scratch that: I am not a pet person.

I have my hands full keeping my own children alive. 
Cleaning their tanks. 
Scooping their poop.
Letting them out for a run.
Teaching them not to bark.
And judging by my performance thus far, I can confidently say that a gold fish/puppy/kitten/turtle/goat/pig/hamster/etc etc etc wouldn't stand a chance in this jungle.

In fact, in the fish department, we are already guilty. 
They should have some sort of Fish Protection Services. 
Fish should never be allowed in the care of my household. I cannot in good conscience purchase something at a pet store that I know we are going to kill. And yet family members keep listening to the incessant pleas and whimpers coming from my girls, and consequently drop entire fish tanks supplied with fish off on our doorstep as gifts (Hi girls! Grandma was just in the neighborhood so I left something on the porch! Go check outside....).

Our latest fish finally died after our longest stint yet.
Somehow, the poor little sucker couldn't muster the strength to withstand Lily attempting to "pet" him and surround him with real seashells from the ocean (um yeah, caught her doing that the other day and had to intervene). We returned home one day to find him floating, his little fish spirit now swimming freely in the celestial oceans of the imaginary world I quickly concocted to console Lils and Lundy.

"He is with his family, many moons away surfing the tides of honihoniwala in the great waters of Nemo, playing with Dori....forever happy....eating cotton candy..... he has a little kitten now....and they are going to fishy disneyland...."

"Will I see him again?"

she asked tearfully,

"Blueberry Blueberry Rainbow? "
(Yes, that was his name - I'm not even sure if it was a him. How do you tell that on a fish? Are fish genderless? hmmmmm. Am I an idiot? hhmmmmm.)

Yes I told her! I do believe in some sort of cosmically beautiful, abstract way she can indeed reunite with Blueberry Blueberry Rainbow one day. So it's okay. 

In the mean-time, we have many other fish to fry (pardon the pun).
Up next are horny-toads, as pictured above.


Horny Herbie.

Lol, it has nice ring to it, doesn't it?

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