Wednesday, October 19, 2011


{Dancing Queen}

I had Lily's parent/teacher conference this week.

I arrived neatly trimmed, showered and motherly looking. Notepad in hand. Really, I was attempting to look like I'm up to the challenge, but even more-so to distinguish Lily as anything but ordinary. Isn't that what all parents try to do in some way?: try to get the teacher to realize that our child, this child, is so soo unimaginably special. Even if all the other children are legitimately so soo unimaginably special too. 

I feel that way in an OBGYN office or heading in to deliver a baby. 
I would like to give the following speech:

Attention Distinguished Doctors, Noble nurses, and Honorable staff,

Your work is greatly appreciated. 
I know that this is just another run of the mill, ordinary day in your work week. 
You have lives, schedules, families, friends, relationships, headaches, and stresses of your own.
But today, right now, for this patient:
I need to you act like your mother-freaking life depends on this visit.
That every ounce of your own hope and happiness hang in the balance, dangling in the unknown expanse of the consequences resulting from this child, this very day.
This baby is not my baby, this is YOUR baby. 

So act like it.

Thank you so much. The end.

I'm working through an adapted final draft version to be delivered to all future school teachers as well.

Lily's teacher is great. The conference was dandy. 

"Mrs. Haack, Lily is doing very well. As you can see from the progress report she is coming along beautifully academically. You'll notice the only areas I marked for improvement were in the social department. She's has a penchant for tattling and is a bit of a chatty-kathy."

"Oh my goodness that really surprises me, but come to think of it there was this one time that we asked her to tell us about her day at school and after she went on for twenty minutes we had to say good gracious Lu that sounded like a fun day but in our heads we were thinking man this kid can sure go on and on and on and this particular day was of interest because I remember my husband got home late that day and we were attempting to discuss a business meeting he works for a concrete fabrication company as their division manager and oversees the development of lift stations so naturally we were discussing that even though I don't really care for discussion of concrete as you can imagine but business ideas do get me churning with creativity, speaking of creativity i would love to help with the halloween costume party i am really excited i was thinking that lily would like to be little bo peep even though she already was little bo peep years ago who am i to stop her from requesting it a second time around and at least it spares me from having to buy another costume so i was thinking she could bring her baby sister as a sheep but if we can't bring her actual sister i have a few darling stuffed animal lambs that were purchased at Build-A-Bear with her Nonna, Nonna is always spoiling those girls silly just like last week when she took them up to Virginia city and they rode the train and had so much fun and came home with buckets of candy...
anyhoo i'm not really sure where she gets it but i'll be sure to speak to her about getting her chattiness under control."


Sarah Gurries said...

Is it pathetic I check your blog multiple times a day in hopes of an update? My life is sooo cool. It's apparently only been posted 10 minutes. Anyhoo DON'T STOP THE CHATTER. Her chatter is the best chatter in the whole wide world......

The Mrs. said...

HAHAHA! I just spit out my tomato because you cracked me up...


The Andersens said...

I just stumbled across your blog and can I say? I love you and your fabulous, witty, endearing writing! What a great find!

Alexis said...

I remember my first parent teacher conference in Kindergarten for you....Mrs. Fitzgerald told me that you were a good student - her only problem with you is that YOU wanted to be the teacher...Also, she and I had a code to keep me apprised of your classroom conduct during the day - she would put a green mark on your papers if you had behaved in class and a red mark if you had been too chatty, bossy or "not on task"...
Lily is on her way to becoming a wonderfully, bright, productive member of society - just like her mom:)
P.S. On your first day of school I had hopes of dressing you up in your "little girl school dress with pinafore and mary jane schoes" but you had other ideas - you begged and pleaded for the white "go go" boots instead - you just had to make a fashion statement on your first day:)
Love MOM

Joan said...

We are one and the same, Rae. I couldn't agree more about how you want everyone to think, "No really, my child really truly is the best and unlike any, really. I mean it."
And I love how self aware you are too. The fact that you call yourself out on things. It makes you even more likeable than you already are :)