Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Stick it to the man.

Winter night at our house.

Anyone want to clean the kitchen?


I will not be cleaning. Nor shall the husband tonight.
I am sticking it to the man. Forget schedules! Screw Productivity!

Tonight all I can think about is sandwiching two warm peanut butter cookies between a thick slice of homemade chocolate cake, drizzling it in melted marshmallow cream, hot fudge, and topping it all off with a krispy kreme donut.

Craving a bit much?

I can't help it!
I'm trying hard to be good. Attempting to beat my previous pregnancy weight record by at least a couple of pounds. Oh it would be so nice to deliver an eight pound child and NOT have thirty five pounds to go! I must somehow channel those insatiable cravings into something more suitable like....blueberries.


Doesn't it feel good to lose a little control every now and then?
I mean, come on!...who wants to be around a scheduled cleaning nazi obsessed with day planners and to-do lists, whose naughtiest splurges consist of fresh berries and an online spree to Zappos? Surely I can do better than that!

I remember the time I walked into a group of women and confessed that I had just eaten four glazed Krispy Kreme donuts. The shock and silence that followed was palpable, but was completely secondary to my own stunned reaction at their horrified gazes. Seriously, you mean you guys have never done that? I thought everybody did that. But instead of cowering in shame I couldn't ignore the sudden urge I had to strip down, batter my naked limbs, deep fry myself in a barrel of butter and roll through a life-size pan of powdered sugar while eating yet another donut.

That's right: FOUR! AND NOW FIVE
Make it SIXXXXX! 


I could watch as each one ran away screaming in a panic while trying desperately to avoid the flicks of frosting shooting from my fingers. 
That's right, you heard me:
 I said Four donuts
You uptight bunch of calorie counting freaks.

What exactly does any of this have to do with the fact that my house isn't clean and I've posted a bunch of pictures of my handsome husband being attacked by our rowdy girls?

Not much,

Other than:

1. To lose a little control can be a good thing.

2. I am really craving a Krispy Kreme donut right about now.


amy m. said...

Oh those women are liars, LIARS I say! They're just secret Krispy Kreme eaters!

Good job letting go for the night (week, month, whatever...)

The Mrs. said...

The timing of me reading this post was perfect on my part, as while I was reading this Daron said: "do you know that because I am a cop I get 50% off donuts at Dough Boys...do you mind if I bring some home for breakfast?"

ummmmmm....NO I DONT MIND! YOU would be the best Dad in the world!! That was my reply.


Melissa said...

i am way too much of a blog stalker, jeez.... but to make you feel better, i took zak by myself last week to get him a donut at krispy kreme because i'm such a cool mom. meaning, he ate a bite and i ate his and mine while he ran around and watched them making donuts. it's being pregnant i tell you. it's an excuse for everything. who cares how much weight you gain? you'll get it off eventually. hahaha.

Ashley said...

You have officially made me want donuts....however this morning on my way to work I wanted Twinkies lol!

Alexis said...

I swear I didn't read your blog first and call about yoga pants second - it was the other way around! After all - who am I to be pointing by chubby little finger;)
Remember the musical "Scrooge" and the song "I like life! Life likes me! Life and I fairly fully agree Life is fine! Life is good!
I'm so glad to see you embracing that part of life because if you don't the "to do's" and the naysayers will suck the life out of you...
Love MOM

christilee said...

MMMMMMMMMMMM, Donuts!!!!!!

Sarah Gurries said...

Donut stop being so funny...

Joan said...

Rae they are all a bunch of bald faced LIARS!!! haha. Every normal woman in the world has binged on Krispy Kreme donuts or some other delightfully and deliciously nasty treat.
Calorie counting pretenders, maybe...just not brave enough and confident enough to laugh about their own emotional/erratic binges.
Thus yet another reason why we get each other SO well :) We both share the same respect and love for a good, hearty, shove your face with salty then sweet then sweet then some more salty!
Two foods come to mind: "Grannie B Pink Frosted cookies" and "Chilli Cheese Cheez-its!" haha. Brings back sweet (and salty) memories, doesn't it?
Ahhh, those were the good 'ol days. I remember you on your deep purple silk bed spread---you were like the Persian princess or something on that bed! haha.And I was the girl with the tan corduroy bedspread?! Ew. Thank goodness I had you in my life or I would have withered away into beige boring!
I LOVE you, Rae! :)

PS: Doesn't if feel good to post pictures of your dirty kitchen on your blog?! Thanks for keepin' it real!