Monday, January 16, 2012

This marks the end.

Lily's birthday bash marked the end of the official Haack girl {back-to-back-with Christmas sandwiched in between- worst-family-planning-system-ever} birthday season

It also, I soon discovered,  marked the end of my patience.

It's no coincidence that I am choosing today to post pictures, hoping she'll instead remember these happy memories instead of the fury unleashed on this ordinary Monday afternoon when I found greasy lip gloss stains on every article of clothing and nail polish stains on the carpet.

Who, i ask you, is the moron who manufactures little girls' lip gloss to have some sort of detergent resistant mineral oil that forever destroys any piece of fabric that it comes in contact with?

Who, I ask you?

You may respond with: who is the mother who allows her children to flagrantly gloss and polish themselves silly - completely unsupervised?

To which I can only respond that I police this house like a gestapo madwoman bent on the complete eradication of all childhood cosmetic gaiety. Does this sound a bit harsh? A bit over-the-top? Possibly. But it is, without question, the inevitable result of ninety-seven thousand hours spent in a laundry room soaking tee shirts and scrubbing carpets. When the girls so much as take a bathroom break I sweep through their bedrooms, gutting every small article of aggravating luxury and stuff them into a safely labeled and locked container. Containers are swiftly hidden away with the intention of discovery reserved only for moments when I'm feeling unusually generous and playful.

But I tell you, I could hide these trinkets on the planet Jupiter and this Lily child will somehow manage to build a viable spaceship of legos and hair ribbon traveling faster than the speed of light, only to return and smear a vat of jelly glitter all over her freshly laundered bedroom duvet.

Today as I screamed the moment I saw London covered to her elbows in purple nail polish, Lily responded quickly with,

Mom, you're yelling.
You're yelling.
You're yelling.

That's right I'm yelling!!!!!!
So much for the integrity of a New Year's Resolution...which I asked them to help me keep. (Girls, Mom is going to try and not yell anymore, and I need your help to remind me.) Bad. idea.

Look at that cute face, making her birthday wish.
As long as it has nothing to do with her kindergarten crush 'boyfriend', I hope it comes true.
Oh yeah, and as long as it won't involve anymore makeup:
it will really help with that rather difficult resolution I'm determined to keep.
{no matter how many times I miserably fail.}


Melissa said...

oh no! nail polish on the carpet??!! aaahh!! that's terrible. good thing your kids are so cute so you'll eventually love them again. =) haha just kidding, but i can imagine i would freak out too, especially if i had a house decorated like yours {from what i can see in pictures haha}

gotta love them. after you're done being so angry. =)

Emily said...

I can only imagine that kind of mess. Try hydrogen peroxide, that gets all my greasy stains out! Your girls are adorable!

The Mrs. said...

AHHH!! I am so sorry. Sometimes it does help to look at pictures of them and videos from when they were so young and little babies. I did that last night...


Joan said...

"As long as it has nothing to do with her kindergarten crush 'boyfriend', I hope it comes true." hahaha ha ha! I love it.
James told me he is going to be a "lovekill" when he is older. Ummm, excuse me? "Love-kill?" He then explained that he is going to be so cute and all the girls will like him. Wow. Awesome.

rae said...

@ Emily - thanks for the tip! I've never tried hydrogen peroxide for stains...I'm on it. Also, what is your email address? You asked me a long time ago (too long) what type of camera i use and I wanted to pass along the info!

Joan- he is absolutely right. He will be a love-kill.