Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Ambassador.




Dear Elliotte Jane,


I love to think about how each of my children have expanded me.

Figuratively speaking.

And, oh bother, come to think of it: figure-a-tively speaking too.

 {your funny little toophers charm the socks off of this household, especially with the crooked smiles}

Each night I feel your little sister kicking with a vengeance.
It brings me peace (and mild discomfort at 11pm).
It reminds me she is coming, getting well and ready to make her entrance into this big beautiful (and sometimes scary) world. After a day chasing you and your older sisters, it can be the only time I have to connect with her.

And sometimes as I'm squishing you in my arms and chewing on your neck rolls, I realize that my time with you as the baby of the house is winding to a close. Soon you will be an older sibling, and that makes me cry a little. Not out of sadness, I know these things have a wonderful way of aligning the way they are supposed to. But change is hard on a Mama. You want addition, you want expansion, but good grief you don't want it to involve change!! I want you to grow and be and do and see and stay exactly the same all at once. Is that really such an unrealistic request?!



I've learned in my line-up of childbearing years that each child serves as the ambassador to the next child. After your first child, you can hardly believe that you could love again the way you do. The second serves as solid evidence of your grossly shortsighted understanding of the capacity to love. And because of the second you start to get a little crazy, greedy even, believing in the possibility for the third.  And now with you - our third messenger - I rest in a quiet, strong confidence that our fourth will be nothing short of miraculous.

Because you are. 
We need our Ellie Jane. 
We love our Ellie Jane. 




Love forever and ever and ever
and ever and ever and
ever and ever
and ever,

Mama









2 comments:

Joan said...

Oh how I resonate with your feelings, Rae! Our mother hearts expand with each child and that stretching hurts some times...but in a such a good way.

Alexis said...

I had such Great Ambassadors - and I got real greedy!
MOM