Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Sick, tired, housebound, and as ready as I'm ever gonna be.

Ellie Janerboo is sick today. Poor baby.

A rambunctious child who usually refuses to sit still for more than three quarters of a second, suddenly tired and voluntarily lying on any surface in the house just breaks yer heart.

Even if it's just a cold.

My heart never ceases to ache for the Mommas out there who are dealing with something much more difficult than the standard cold or flu bugs with their little ones. I always find myself squeezing in a prayer during these times.

Tyler came through the door last night and saw her lying on the floor in blankets surrounded by her sisters. She was too tired to get up and run to him, flushed with fever and fatigue. He exclaimed in sadness, "Aww! My Ellie! What's wrong with my girl?!" He scooped her right up and took her back to our room to gently rock her to sleep. 

Later that night I finished folding piles of freshly cleaned clothing for the new baby. I held up little onesies and sleepers for Tyler to see and we both laughed at the insanity of how little they are. You always forget. There are a few articles that have managed to survive clear back from the time Lily wore them, and I think I will never be able to fully wrap my head around how fast it all goes. How just yesterday she was the peanut. 

I'm trying to get it all ready, trying to keep my head above water a bit longer. We had a family night this week where we discussed the upcoming baby and the new need for the big girls to be extra responsible in their chores. They have been so good lately, marking their "chore charts" regularly and following our routine with enthusiasm. My little stinkers may be stinkers, but they are good stinkers. 

I've had to think through ways to simplify life, better ways to organize and involve them in an effort to avoid our home dissolving into total chaos and anarchy. Things like getting themselves dressed, making their beds without having to be told, tying their own shoes, brushing their teeth properly, helping to unload the car, etc. I think it is good for them, this gradual process leading to independence. And heck, if I wasn't forced into requiring these measures, I could seriously see it getting a little nutty. I like mothering them. The possibility definitely exists for a downward spiral that would result in me showing up at school daily to deliver them each customized lunch baskets and doing their grocery shopping during their college years. It's a good thing when I have no choice but to let them start taking care of themselves. In fact, I am beginning to think that the perfect formula to raise an independent and self-sufficient child may be to give them a mother who borders on collapse at any moment.

Today Ellie is doing better, but we're still on the mend and consequently will be housebound another day. It feels like this household has been sick a lot lately. Between Tyler's arthritis pain and the flu plaguing the girls one by one and a massive bout of pink eye and me on the last leg of this achy pregnancy, it gets overwhelming. I am so ready for this baby to be out. And yet, as our sick Ellie rolled around in our bed at 11pm, uncomfortable and refusing to take any tylenol, I thought about a newborn added to the mix and couldn't help but say to Tyler:

 I am scared. How am I going to do this?!

My sweet guy has sensed my low-fuel attitude lately. Last week after work he arrived home and surprised me with a bubble bath surrounded in candlelight, with the order to take the night off. He fed the girls dinner, got them to bed, cleaned the house, all while I soaked and read my book. 

He never lets me forget that with him as my teammate, 
I believe I can handle anything.


Emily said...

That sounds freakishly like a few of my days last week. I hope she feels better soon!

Joan said...

It seems like everyone is sick!? We are on the tail end of the stomach flu in our house :/ Yuck.
None of it is fun especially when sweet, unsuspecting babies are involved.
Get well soon Ellie girl :)