Monday, March 5, 2012

Thoughts on why.

(Mandatory afternoon reading time: popsicles provided. I check out EVERY SINGLE book with an accompanying read-along CD I can get my hands on at the library.... bedtime stories are narrated by the one and only Mommy or Daddy...)

Any person who has blogged for more than a year is bound to, at one point or another, ask themselves the question:

"Why am I doing this?"

There is a strange sense of obligation that comes with blogging. Readers or no readers, you know you are putting something out there. In psychology, I remember studying a particular phase of adolescent development in which a teenager lives life with a strange sense of an "imaginary audience". Hence the reason they become mortified over the slightest mishap, plead for death rather than have their dorky parent accompany them to a high school game, or obsess over the pimple on the center of their forehead. Because to them, watching. Always always watching!

I think that phenomena translates into a blogger's mentality to a certain extent. It suddenly becomes important to define exactly what it is that you are doing and why you are doing it.

Am I trying to earn money?

Become famous?

Document a journey?

Make a statement?

Journal thoughts?

Share information with out-of-town relatives?

Scrapbook my life?

Build a career?

Develop a cookbook?

What exactly is...this?

For me, after a couple years in, I figured out my niche. My thang.

I just enjoy this outlet.

It's pretty basic. I've never been consistent at anything really, other than what is mandatory and required for basic survival. I have always had trouble sticking with one "thing". 

What I have loved about logging in and posting a few times a week has been this: whatever is on my mind, whatever mood I'm in, whatever I feel like doing: I can do. I can share!

Some days I pretend I'm a writer.

Other days a baker.

I might try my hand at designing.

Or crafting a new creation.

Mostly, I am an ordinary online scrap-booker for family history's sake.

Or for just my sake.

And my favorite, most favorite and self indulgent thing to do is to comb my own archives and examine life as it has unfolded. Oh what a good life, I think...I'm so glad I was able to put it under the microscope in this way. I may not have noticed it so much. After just a couple of years Tyler and I can also say, "Hey, what did we do that one Valentine's Day?" And by gosh golly, I can pull out the old bloggaroo and find out! This is cool.

It is very liberating to not hold myself to a standard, or think I have to pin down exactly what I am doing. I am doing whatever the heck i feel like doing! And as a woman, a wife, and a momma of {almost} four: this is a great and very much needed thing!

I also LOVE other bloggers. Oh my, I have learned so much from ordinary people doing extraordinary things. At first it was overwhelming. I think you can sucked into the blog world just as badly as the facebook abyss. I've learned my balance over time, and when it is necessary to shut. my. computer. off. (which for me, is most of the day...morning and evenings are my best times for updating myself on the world outside...the rest of the day belongs to my children). 

And to my small handful of readers, my little corner of the world: I sincerely thank you for your kind comments and emails over time. Life feels fuller being shared, so thank you for making me feel like a random thought or a post meant something to you, because that sure means a lot to me.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, my children have given up reading after 7 minutes and are now pouring some sort of weird soap and lotion concoction into our bathtub. I had best get going.


Joan said...

I'm SO glad you are a consistent blogger. I check for a post from you daily and without fail enjoy whatever hat you've decided to wear and post about that day.
It's always a treat to hear from you, Rae.

amo said...

"Life feels fuller being shared" -- great way of putting it. I agree. With lunches sometimes few and far between with our busy schedules, I think about how little I would know about your life without your blog! So glad you found your thang and you share with us. :)