Tuesday, July 10, 2012

just another day in paradise?

Tyler was out of town for a solid week on two separate business trips. During his one evening home, sandwiched between flights, we managed to sit and eat together as a family. Afterwards, we tucked the girls in bed and hired a babysitter to come sit on our couch so we could exit and enjoy a wild rompy escapade on the town (grocery trip and fro-yo).

We brought Emerson because I'm not yet comfortable leaving unsuspecting teenage babysitters (having once been one myself) with a darling newborn who can suddenly summon shrieks that make you want to obliterate your uterus and swear off any and all forms of forbidden procreation (no matter how hot current boyfriend is).

Hmmm, now that I'm thinking through this, we should have left her. Babysitter's parents would have thanked us.

Anyways, I've mentioned before that Miss Emerson does not like her car-seat. And yes, i've checked the straps, tried hanging toys, sang to her, rolled down the windows, rolled up the windows, blasted music, done the arm-reach-back-the-entire-drive-trying-to-get-her-to-take-her-pacifier move, had lily caress her head, tickled her cheek, gave her a cool rag to hold, and cried and shouted out my driver's window to the heavens above that God please intervene right now and make this baby like her carseat because fourth children are not entitled to such accommodations...fourth children are supposed to be easy so what the h*%?!!!?

So it should have come as no surprise to me that the minute we loaded up she began crying. Cried all the way to Target. Cried in Target (until removed from seat), cried when loaded back in, cried in the ice cream drive-thru, and continued such crying as we made our way towards home... until I asked Tyler to pull over! before our heads spontaneously combusted.

And wait for it!...it gets even better...because now I have begun to cry too.

Tyler observed the unraveling of sanity and began speaking to me in the same manner he would to our daughters after they took a fall and scraped their knee...

Awww, sweetheart....eat your ice cream.
Look! It is so tasty! You love ice cream.

I spoke back to him in the same manner my daughters would respond after taking a fall and scraping their knee...

NooOOOooooo! I don't! want! it!

He urged back...
Just try one bite. 
Motioning the spoon towards me like a helicopter. 

Nooooooo! It is tainted ice cream. Tainted by the fact that we are paying someone thirty bucks just so we can drive around and LISTEN TO OUR BABY SCREAM. Tainted by the fact that we spent our Friday night at Target. Tainted by the fact that we were actually EXCITED to spend our Friday night at Target. You and I. We LOVE TARGET, TYLER! When I suggested we stop there you were like YEAH LET'S GO TO TARGET! And I was like YEAH LET'S DO IT! What has happened to our LIVES?!!! Surrounded by wailing babies and ice cream cones and holding hands strolling through Target on a Friday night?????????! We are like a BAD COUNTRY SONG! WWWAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAA!

At this point we had pulled over and parked in an empty area. I quickly peeled little Miss out of her car seat. And just like magic, bam!, happy eyes and smiles. I stood there in the dark parking lot, lit by a few street lamps and let her coo and blink charmingly at the lights. So damn cute, you beastly little lady. The air was that perfect temperature of a summer evening, ripe for romance and lying under the stars all cuddled up and carefree. I remember it well. Now, I looked at Tyler while still clinging to our sweet stinker. He tipped his hat up slightly and reclined back in his seat. He winked at me and said...

you know, I don't really like Target that much, I just like being with you. doesn't matter what we do...


So...okay, maybe we're not like a bad country song. 
More like a good country song.

"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These Are Some Good Times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now 

But you're gonna miss this"

-Trace Atkins


Melissa said...

i LOVE your hair brown. it's fantastic. i think i remember sarah saying something how one of your children mentioned you were ruining their life with it that color? which made me laugh for quite some time haha but i do love it.

and it's amazing the things we like to when we're kid free. it gets so much simpler when we're free! i hope the babe begins to like her carseat soon! zak didn't ever like his though, it was terrible, he wanted to be out and checking everything out, which was so obnoxious at times.

The Mrs. said...

I sing that song to Daron every time the kids are going nuts, dinner was unsuccessful, and we are so exhausted that our heads are pounding.

We laugh every time.


Joan said...

This post was a perfect success. You made me belly laugh and then cry seconds later while reading those lyrics and looking at the collage of your beautiful family.

Jen O'Harra said...

Rachel - You are so freakin funny! I love reading your blog. Makes me excited to be a mom - 3 weeks to go for me. Hope you are well!

Ashley javascript:void(0) said...

Love everything about this post! Your hair looks fabulous.