Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Change.




we escaped into the great outdoors for our last summer holiday.
the outdoors make for better children.
and parents.


it's like you, the enemy of fun
and they, the enemy of order and quiet
can at last meet on welcoming grounds in a pleasant state of cease-fire.




 i love that my children have coaxed the inner explorer out of me.
anyone who knows me can tell you i often prefer
the inner comforts 
of being walled in.
{left to my baking and books}


but *sigh*, a soul just comes alive in nature
sensing autumn's gentle copper gleam 
tinting the bright bustle of summer
everything seems to be quieting down




it is silly how my heart still saddens with each change, 
somehow forgetting how glorious the whole cycle is
and doubting that more goodness awaits on the horizon

i mistakenly often prefer remaining closed. shut to expansion.

just last summer i kissed the season goodbye
one afternoon sitting poolside watching my three children,
knowing i was prego again

i held still and tight, watching them dive in and out of the water
as i awaited in fear the unknown future
that seemed to me teetering out of
my perfectly mapped
false sense of control.


now i laugh
 look at her.
manjust look at her.


i said goodbye to another sibling last evening. off to college.
everyone goes away.
everyone changes.
DAMN IT.

but i am reminded of what tyler said to me as i moaned

remember rae: if nothing changes...nothing grows.







so much growing going on around here.




and yes, that is lily in her underwear.
pants, in nature? overrated.








i've been humming a favorite hymn around the house lately. 
Be Thou My Vision.

love this song!
tyler can attest:
i'm either humming it,
playing it on the piano,
or blasting it through speakers.
{great piano solo version here.
great vocal version here.}

the transcendent music coupled with the lovely lyrics is stirring.
reminding me that my vision is so narrow.
like ssssOOOOOOSSSssssssOoooooooo incredibly narrow.





be thou my dignity...
be thou my delight...
heart of my own heart, whatever befall...
still be my vision, o Ruler of all.




i love those words, dignity and delight.
it's impossible not to sense these aspects of the Divine on a day like this.



{dirty shoes, happy feet.}





















4 comments:

The Mrs. said...

I loved your thoughts on this one.

I have to takes moment.

On another note, you crack me up! Trying to guess which friend is which! Did you find yourself?

I saw you picked beets from Dan and Alli,

And you have to try this (if you already haven't) peel and cut your beets into chunks and let them marinate In an olive oil/thyme/salt and pepper mixture for like however you long you have(a couple hours or all day) and then roast them at 400 for 20 minutes or until they are the texture you like.

I guess if neither of us move too far away and our children grow up then we might be able to go on a walk together. Xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Joan said...

Love the song. Love your beautiful babies. Love you.

Anonymous said...

Hello,
I came across these pictures and was wondering what trail this is?

Rachel Haack said...

Hello! It's at the peak of the mount rose highway at the summit. Right before you head over tahoe. I think it's called the meadows trail? Good luck!