Saturday, December 29, 2012

Making Merry: the final days.

I plan on doing a Christmas recap but have been neck-deep in boxes. Moving. BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH NO WORDS CAN PROPERLY EXPRESS THE HORROR OF MOVING.

Rule #1. 
It is ALWAYS ten times more difficult than you expect.
Rule #2. 
There is ALWAYS ten times more crap in your home than you think you own.
Rule # 3. 
You already expected it to be ten times more difficult than you would have expected it to be and you already thought you probably own ten times more crap than you think you own so in all reality for purposes of accuracy you really have to multiple that ten by the other ten and you will still only arrive at about one tenth of how difficult it will be.  And there, there you have it. The horror of moving. 
 Rule #4.
You are dirtier than you think you are. That gross reality really seeps in as you pull apart drawers and empty shelves. The full blown grime settlement, the microscopic village of allergens going all dustocropolis on you. The missing socks and old chocolate box filled with empty wrappers under the bed. The decapitated strawberry shortcake doll wedged between the dresser that made a weird, sticky, crackling noise as you slowly peeled it away from the wall it sealed itself to. There are more crumbs and lint pieces floating on the carpet than you ever thought possible given your obsessive compulsive affinity for vaccuuming. 

I'm starting to itch just thinking about it and beginning to think moving every five years is a good idea. Just imagine what this place would accumulate had we hunkered down longer. When my family moved from my childhood home, my sister Sarah forced all of our siblings to doing a penitent walk of shame through the family room once our large couch was removed from the wall which it sat against for 20+ years. Each child was forced to confront the newly exposed wall surface and identify the crusty booger that they knew in their hearts, and could no! longer! deny!, was theirs. This! she lectured in rightful indignation...IS. CRIMINAL. PEOPLE!

I'm still (justifiably) traumatized. If my children so much as bring their fingers within a 1/2 inch of their nostril I am on them like....white on rice? No. Like a booger stuck to a wall for the past 19 years. I just stare with the most impenetrable evil eye and lifted brow until they have no choice but to run for the tissue box and hand sanitizer. 
So I do have a victory to claim: no booger walls.

But, that's about it.

Rule #5

It is sad.

For all the talk of dirt and crumbs and old socks...gosh, it was home. And for the most part, a lovely and inviting one at that. I am trying not to get overly sentimental. I keep telling myself that a house is just a house, it's the people that make it a home. I know this. But, in theory, I can't help but sense an energy infused into the walls. The life we seemed to breath into it until it took on a force all its own. And so in some way, it always feels like we're leaving a good friend behind. It's a she, by the way. Each night we thanked God for her, for the trusty walls that stood while the winds blew fiercely outside or the rain and cold beat against her. She was warm in the winter and cool in the summer. She was a personal, welcoming invitation after a daily stint meandering through the more impersonal world outside. I will miss her. I will be happy in my new house, it too will quickly become a home, and this house: she will eventually be locked away for the rest of time in a distant memory. But, it is with gratitude I will walk away and remember how she housed my babies. thank you.

I mentioned to Tyler that without realizing it, we spent our last evenings as a family making merry before Christmas:

Dunking marshmallows ....

Meant for hot chocolate....

 it was Lily's special Christmas treat request...

we had to keep the activities simple this year given that I'm single-mommin' it throughout the weeks.
(Tyler has been commuting Mon-Friday down to So.Cal until we find and close on a house, in the mean-time we are moving up to Gramma and Pops house)

I turned to Tyler last night and remarked about how quickly this all seems to be happening. But, looking back now at our mallow and cocoa night I thought, what a perfect final gathering before we say goodbye.


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