Friday, April 19, 2013

hey emerson, it's your birthday.

My dearest Emerson,

Today marks the one year anniversary of your blessed entrance into this world. As usual, I find myself saying whoa, time flies. where on earth did it go? It's so cliche and overstated but straight up truth, I tell you. 

I remember the day of your birth vividly. It was my best birth experience yet. 

I was so nervous as I held you inside of my body. Anxious with worry that something would go wrong. It was definitely more nerves than usual. Brought on by too much knowledge. The kind of knowledge that comes from experience. Knowledge of what actually goes down in the birthroom. Knowledge of the ups and downs and effort required in motherhood. Knowledge of my inadequacies.

 I entered the delivery room equipped with that kind of knowledge and the hearty dose of humility (and fear) it brings.

As a form of visual medication in the weeks leading up to your birth,  I would rehearse my favorite image over and over and over of you, held up pink and crinkly and crying with the healthy squeal of a precious newborn. And in that moment I could finally breathe, so deeply that all the tension would finally release and I would know you are. There, my beautiful baby girl, you are.

At long last, almost prophetically, you entered this world in peace and ushered in a great wave of the  most sublime relief with those tiny flailing limbs.

And just as your first breath inhaled the glorious spring air surrounding us, you have exuded all forms of sunshine and sweetness and warmth and renewal. Which really, is so fitting for who you are. 

Sunshine, warmth, sweetness, 
and renewal
of Spirit
all tucked in to your squishy cheeks and reflected outward 
from those amazing twinkly blue eyes.

And girlfriend,

you are. silly.

and funny.

And your crinkle birdy face makes me want to chew you up bit by bit
 zip u up lock it put it in my pocket 
squishy squishy bum bum eat you in  my tum tum
 if you know whadda mean. 

Of course you know what Mama means.

So, my darling angel girl Emmie, 
thank you for being your family's Springtime, all year round.

 You are heaven sent.
You are a miracle and a blessing and I love you soooooooooooooooooo.

Happy 1st Birthday!



{*We're officially in the final moving process! Going dark for a while but will be back soon. In the meantime, as you can see, there are plenty of pics of Emerson girl for you to enjoy;))


Katy Nicole. said...

Rae, this is beautiful. Happy Happy Birthday sweet Emerson!!! These photos kil me...ADORABLE!!!!Sending lots of love and birthday wishes your way! xo

Joan said...

That scrunch face photo is priceless! I love her.