Friday, July 19, 2013

sweet summertime.

 {{emerson's favorite place to escape...side yard mud puddle}}

tyler is held up late this evening so i thought i'd check in. and sorry for the lack of proper punctuation. seriously, it's just too much to have to use that pinky to hit the shift button. could i be any LAZIER?


i'm sitting out on my back porch under the new outdoor lights we've strung. it's sorta turned my entire world into one big Father-of-the-Bride episode. You know the part when the scene enters their backyard, transformed by Franc into a magical fairy romantic wonderland? Kinda like that. Only I have approx. three strings of very standard globe-ish lights, no cake, and patio furniture. but still!

it's very summery right now. and summer brings out the real romantic in me. add to that this new California climate paradise and i'm seriously going a little crazy with sensory overload. i mean, really,  i'm coming straight from the choke-hold of a dehydrated, barren desert (beautiful in its own way, yes) to the flipping garden of Eden. honestly! it's like i'm drinking it all in, suddenly awakened to how thirsty i have been. so many flowers! trees! fruits! shrubs! bugs and crickety sounds and gosh, it makes me want to strip down and frolic around wearing your standard Eve-inspired fig leaves.

and the air, oh the air. California has always had the best air. there is a specific scent to it. as kids we would roll down the windows on the way to our grandmother's, once we hit patches of farmland and rows of crops, all enveloped in gentler, inviting temperatures and soft humidity. Someone would inevitably announce,"hey! i smell california!"

please allow me to get a little overly dramatic and poetic-wannabe-ish, but it's all been very healing in some sort of emotionally cosmic, absurd kind of way. maybe its just the summer-time in my soul speaking, but i have felt a pull and a stretch lately of my innards. and stretching of the insides can really hurt, damn it. do you ever feel like that? does your inner life get a little tumultuous? are the most private parts of yourself sometimes broken or sad? 

i've felt a little tossed to and fro lately, unable to really get my bearings. but i've found that falling in alignment with the seasons, celebrating the goodness that is discovered in just being and smelling and seeing, taking in the marvelousness of this earth, it so often sets me and my crazy,severely taxed mind and troubled heart straight. if nothing else, a quiet moment outdoors usually sends me to those higher places and i find myself once again in an almost desperate gratitude that my life. 

like today, when i sat for one itty bitty second on the grass beside emerson. the sunlight etched itself directly around the perimeter of her budding sprouts of hair. like a cute little glowworm with big, round eyes. behind her a bee floated right above the geranium plant sitting below our front tree. the breeze brushed by gently and the whole scene effortlessly fluttered, weightless and colorful. and for one second, ssssigh. perfection. so beautiful.
i even sang to her the other night as i tucked her into bed, How Great Thou Art. it was screechy and terribly offensive to the ear and a real embarrassment for the walls of her bedroom to have to witness, but it felt good to let it out. sorry ems.

i plan on basking in the generous lack of schedule that these last few weeks of a lazy summer afford. one day can just roll into the next seamlessly, dishes can be left in the sink, showers replaced with a dip in the pool, and makeup... what makeup? sunglasses are the new makeup.

 just look at these faces. aren't they just the cutest?!

{{the simplest ingredients of a perfect summer: a hose and a bucket.}}

london starts kindergarten in a couple weeks. i can't even go there. this post has been sappy and dribbly enough. let's just say i will grieve this fact: the fact that london will one day grow up...that she IS growing up...for the REST OF MY LIFE. i don't think i'll ever get over it. i just won't.

you just can't be given children this wonderful and  NOT wish that the rest of your life include the backdrop of their little voices and contagious joy. it's the saddest reality i must {and yet refuse to} come to grips with. the greatest, most detestable paradox of parenting.

talk about sunshine, these ladies of mine.

so yes, that is what is on my mind on this calm, lovely evening under the lights. i might wake up tomorrow with a summer romance hangover, renewed and ready with my usual defense mechanisms of cynicism and angst. I will find all this talk to be overly sentimental and dorky, but for now I wish you a poetic, joyous, meaningful summer of your own. life is simply amazing.




Katy Nicole. said...

I LOVE these pictures-they just scream SUMMMEERRR! Real life summer. I want to squeeze Emerson's cheeks!! I am so glad that you are finding joy and contentment in this still kind of new season of life! After hangin' with ya I must say you're totally rocking a California glow;)And I am loving your patio furniture-especially that yellow chair!! xo

Alex said...

Aaahhh I know exactly how you feel about entering into a land of lushish greenery! I'm moving to MD in a couple months and am so excited to enter into a land of all things green, tall trees, and fireflies. Enjoy ;)

Rachel Haack said...

Thx Katy! It was so good hanging out. I will miss my more frequent girls nights with you:(

Rachel Haack said...

Good luck in MD sure to post updates so I can check in on ya! What brings u there?!

Joan said...

I spy perfectly staged, new outdoor furniture complete with color coordinating throw pillows. LOVE. You have an eye for design, Rae. You see things and know how to arrange them and which colors complement, etc. You're really, really good at it :)
I enjoyed reading your "sentimental, sappy, poetic" post. I found it refreshing, enlightening and spot on.
Thanks for sharing, dear friend.

Natalie in Sparks said...

love it! Your yard and patio look beautiful, your girls are adorable and I MISS YOU!!

Natalie in Sparks said...

Love it! Your yard and patio look beautiful, your girls are adorable, and I MISS YOU!!