Friday, November 28, 2014

hey november, thanks.

hey. it's been a while. sorry about that.

i haven't felt like posting much in the past few weeks.

the truth is, i was not very grateful this november.

the month started off with a lot of anxious stress, and some real sadness. it pretty much ended that way too. in fact, come thanksgiving day, i was pleased we had decided to skip the holiday all together and work on our house instead. we shipped the kids off to grandparents, and tyler and i stayed back to roll up our sleeves. we had jack-in-the-box tacos.

it just felt like my awareness of the unfairness, the heartache, the cruelty, the worry, and the downright confusion of life was particularly pressing. it was drowning out the spirit of a holiday that hadn't bothered to show up in my heart to begin with. like, at all. let's just say i've been the real ebeneezer of the whole autumnal season around here. there has been a lot of swearing. insert shame face. 

but, you know what? the heavens randomly send you an inkling sometimes. one of those serendipitous sort of inklings that remind you of all the good things that you may have momentarily forgotten. the kind that makes you stop and say, hmmm. it's especially the best when you're not expecting it, in the least. and when your undeserving heart feels particularly cold, and closed, and angry.

yesterday, on thanksgiving afternoon, i was in my house. taking a break from the boxes surrounding me. cool air was blowing through the open windows, ventilating all the dirty, saw-dusty spaces. i happened upon this video while browsing online. 

i watched it. 

and, quite out of nowhere, 

i felt hopeful. and tearful. and warm.

like a reset button had clicked.

 for this, i am thankful.


Lacy said...

I hope everything is ok!!! :( :( Something is in the air, it has been a rough one!!! Excited to see the new house!!

Ashley said...

We missed you at Thanksgiving but it was really good to see your girls. I really want to steal Ellie Jane away from you. She is just so dang cute (they all are). I hope things are getting better and your house is coming along. Looking forward to catching up with you around Christmas.

Joan said...

Thank you for sharing that Christmas message. Merry Christmas, dear one.