Wednesday, February 4, 2015

a brief update.

my computer died last week. 

it was tragic. in fact, I'm still meandering my way through the five stages of grief over the whole thing. anger, denial, then more anger, then despair, and finally....i dunno, acceptance? i am now trying to navigate my way through life using my new mac. which i guess is supposed to be a good thing? but honestly, i am a creature of habit. i don't like learning new things. the buttons are in odd places and i still don't understand how to scroll down on my pages and i'm just feeling super out of sorts and off my already non-existent technological game. just purchasing it was upsetting. i don't get excited about this kind of stuff. it feels the same as buying a water heater. it's a commodity i cannot imagine living without, but nonetheless find to be a bothersome, expensive feature of modernity to have to purchase. 

 to make this tragedy worse, i still had gobs of unedited christmas photos sitting there, waiting for the day that i would get my act together and sort and save them to the proper online server. christmas was SUPPOSED to be posted in a five part series on this blog. well, lucky for you (and the entire month of february), that won't be happening. i lost those AND the world's cutest pictures of one of the world's cutest babies (theo!), captured during a special visit from best friend (nae!) who was excited to see the results i had been gushing about. 

all of it. GONE. POOF.

how am i to deal with this?!!!!


i have so much to catch up on. a new year's essay (on track to arrive sometime in ...probably may?), the funny/crazy things my girls say, the beginnings of before/after shots of the house (yay!), meal planning mondays (why do i do those again?), two unpublished stream of consciousness essays which will probably remain unpublished (i.e, unfiltered, and included way too much swearing). the truth is i simply have no business being a blogger. and yet, year after year here i am. 2015 will be no different. this is a good gig, and i feel like i've amassed a treasure chest of memories and reflections for the past 8 years. for me, blogging has been the expression of my desire to heed Anais Nin's reflection about writing, "to taste life twice...once in the moment and once in retrospect".

this space has become such a deliciously self-indulgent way of tasting life again and again and again.  plus, i don't have to pay attention to grammar rules! can it possibly get any better?! this is MY house. i'm committed to keeping it up as long as it remains both loved and rather low priority. it's hard to believe it's been so long. and even harder to believe how fast it all goes.

just the other night tyler and i looked something up to remember a story about lily when she was three. and bam. i found the memory, and then another, and another, here in the archives. three stories with a list of details which we had plum forgotten. we scrolled through a few pictures of their faces, their itty bitty wittle faces. we felt nostalgic and tingly and thought, what a good life. 


 may God bless blogging, and the devil curse computers.


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