Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Shameless.


{Forgive me, but you'll have to get ready for some serious horn-tooting. But hey, I've worked for too long on this one to not share this on the blog.}

Eleven years ago, when we were still in our early years of college, we got married. Shortly thereafter, we decided to start having babies too. I thought it would be easy to just...ya know, go to school in between all of life. Breezy, right?! I'll just go to school while pregnant, take some night classes as my babes sleep peacefully through the evenings. It will be fine.

INSERT HAND SLAPPING FOREHEAD HERE.

Only, it was really not so fine. It was hard. Like insanely miserably inconvenient and expensive and there was NO time. There was NEVER time. I ended up taking quite a few "breaks". Breaks that lasted a lot longer than I intended. Switching majors certainly didn't help my cause either.

 I was glad, so glad that I prioritized my babies and my family. I was proud of the way we chose to structure our lives. No regrets there. But it always pressed on my heart. I love learning, I love school, and I longed to return to finish. Once my girls are grown, I have some rather lofty career goals that have long been passionately kindling in my soul.

Two years ago, when we moved to CA, Tyler and I decided it was the perfect time for me to return and get that first degree DONE. Only, it wasn't exactly the perfect time. Because, duh, there is never a perfect time. We have learned that. So, I recklessly took a stab at this anyways.

My wonderful husband took care of dinner and bedtime and clean-up and homework for endless nights of me gone, or busy furiously typing away on my computer in our bedroom. Gosh, that man is such a saint for partnering in life with me. He calmly held us steady as I alternated between regular fits of total exhilaration, self-doubt, stress, guilt, overload, and complete inadequacy as I slowly inched my way through classes. And of course, we decided to move again during this process, and complete a remodel?!?! It caused even more stress and schooling delays. For a while there, I won't lie. It was bad. And if anyone asked how I was doing I would say just that. I'm overwhelmed and sinking. I'm a tired mom and a bad wife and delusional optimist who will most likely be a failed college graduate too. I didn't socialize with anyone, all texts or voicemails were returned, on average, 17 days later. I yelled a lot, and cried too. I don't know why we are such gluttons for punishment sometimes. Truly. When I am a practicing therapist someday it will be the first thing I will hopefully figure out about myself?

But somehow, we managed to keep me in school. Sometimes by the hair of our chinny chin chins. This was it for me. It was either going to happen or I was throwing in the towel.

Until finally, it did happen. I finished. My final grades were posted this last week.


It is still sinking in. I'm allowing myself to celebrate, to cry (for some strange reason this has provoked a LOT of crying from me?), and to revel in some enormous feelings of relief. 


Guys, I did it!!!!!!!


...................................................................


So. To finish up here,

Mother's Day is this Sunday. 

For the record, I want to dedicate this degree to my Mama. A woman who raised eight children and didn't attend college, but nonetheless remains the wisest, most enthusiastic learner and life lover I've ever known. She's taught me that I could do anything I wanted to, because as long as "there's a will, there's a way." I still believe her.

I love you, Mom. Thanks for always being in my corner.










7 comments:

Alex said...

Congratulations Rae! This is such a noteworthy accomplishment. I'm always impressed with those who have families and real adult responsibilities who make a commitment to earn a degree. This says a lot about your work ethic and stamina. Not only that, but you nailed your GPA! Take some time for some real R&R now!

Amy said...

Amazing job! Congrats on your accomplishment.

Rachel Haack said...

Thank you Alex!!!!

Rachel Haack said...

Thanks Amy!!:)

Kendall K said...

Congrats on a job well done! School was hard enough without real adult responsibilities so my hat is off to you! (And what an awesome example to your girls!)

I agree, now go and relax!

Katy Nicole. said...

YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYAAYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

SO proud of you and excited to celebrate!!! Love the selfie and note to your mama. Straight A's too, with 4 littles?!!! WHO DOES THAT?!!! So awesome. xo

The Mrs. said...

Rae- awesome! That is fantastic and inspirational. I'm so happy!M now life should be a breeeeze, right??
Jamee
xoxo