Tuesday, January 26, 2016

isms: Part III




Presenting,

Ellie-Janeisms...



On make-believe play

"You be the mama, and I'll be the hunnie."

{hunnie is what Ellie Jane has always assumed to be the title of any child. "Come here hunnie! What do you need hunnie?"}


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On melting Mom

"Ellie, I love you. You make me so happy."

"Yeah, I know. It's cuz I don't be so mean to you."

later, while swinging on the swings at the park, I heard her quietly say

"I'm glad I'm here with you."


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On concern for Mom's safety 

Driving in the car one afternoon, the girls were doing their usual chattering when Ellie suddenly looked up with the most panicked expression, like she was about to cry, and screamed,

"EVWERYBODY BE QUIET!!!! Or else MOM'S BRAIN IS GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!"

The previous day, I had instituted a "silent rule" in our car with the explanation that my brain was about to explode from the noise that day. Apparently, Ellie took this all quite literally. Thanks for saving Mom's brains from shooting all over the interior of the vehicle, Ellie girl.


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On the potty runs in public

"What number do you need to go, Ellie? Number one or two?"

Pause. Eyebrows raise.

"numba FOUR."

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On prayers


"Dear Gwod. Thank you for my shistas and my mom and dad and i went to preschool today and STELLA was being like so rude to me and we sang the song about apples it goes like this Laaaaa laaaaa I LLLLLOVE APPLE TREES AND BIRDS AND BEES AND ALL THE PRETTY THINGS I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE MY PONIES CAN YOU GIVE ME A PONY PLEASE I WANT TO HAVE A PONYYYYYY Laaaaa LAAAAAAA laaaaaaaaa ----

---Thank you Ellie now please stop singing and finish your prayer ---

"AMEN!"


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On noteable Ellie proclamations


"I know eeeeeeeeeeeverything."


or


"Now that's just crweeepy."


or

"Ug!!! MOM! I want to be twenty-four! EVERWEEBODY is twenty four."


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On who's really in charge


I told Emerson she was not permitted to climb up onto our pantry shelves to retrieve a box of cookies she wanted. Shortly after, I heard Ellie lean in to Emerson and whisper in her ear...

"Mom said no. But do you want to know what I say? YES."


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On jokes

"Mom! Mom! I gotta a weally good joke fa you."

"Ok!"

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's there?"

"TOOTYPOOPY ICECREAM."


{har har har. always the best around here.}

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On nature


Emerson and Ellie were out exploring underneath our trees. Emerson began squealing in dismay over the sight of a stream of black ants. Ellie rushed to calm her and assured

"No no hunny! Don't worwee! Black ants LOVE fo year-owds! (four year-olds)


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On Dr. Ellie Jekyll and Miss Ellie Hyde

Ellie has been a dreamboat child in the temperament department...for the most part. She's usually a bucket of joy but man, when she loses it, she LOSES it. Two Christmases ago, we were out at the mall doing some shopping. Ellie Jane had become fixated on some grand item she wanted (as usual) and was told no (as usual). She sobbed and sulked her way out towards the parking lot. To cheer her up and offer some hope, I reminded her that Santa Claus was coming to town pretty soon. And being the stellar kind of mother that I am, I even began jingling out the holiday tune

"Ya better not pout, ya better not cry
ya better shout I'm telling you why...
because---

-----Ellie immediately interrupted in a rage and cut right into the song,  SHOUTING with the loudest guttural kind of shriek the final improvised line---

 SANTA CLAUS IS GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!"

{only a mildly embarrassing spectacle in a crowded public area....} 

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On new, exciting discoveries


Ellie's friend Mia joined us for dinner one evening. As we sat around the table, Ellie exclaimed,

"MIA. GUESS. WHAT.?!...

My Mom....HAS.... A MOM!"

{It was quite a revelation for Ellie to discover the miraculous coincidence that her Grandma also happened to be my mother.}

 Lily looked over to Mia and said, "Sorry Mia, Ellie Jane does NOT understand the circle of life."



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On Fashion police

Ellie loves to notice different women's outfits in public. When she approves, she'll come to me and point at someone,

"Look Mom. She's hot."


I was once lucky enough to meet her approval. She walked by me in our house, on her way to play when she abruptly stopped in her tracks, looked me up and down and said,

"WHOA. I like your pants."

Then, without another word, proceeded on her merry way.















1 comment:

Joan said...

I still remember her in your bathroom at eleven o'clock in your heels with mascara smeared all over her face. I loved how sweet and matter of fact she was about it all. "Mom, you can understand that I was in desperate need of a make-over and that it needed to happen NOW even thought it is the three hours past my bedtime?!"
My Mom still talks about her from that brief time we stayed at your house.
She is one of kind that girl.